Editor’s note: This article was first published in July 2014; its description of Grown Ups as one of the best comedies of recent years was written from the perspective of that year.
There’s a rather little-known 1983 Tom Cruise film. In Spain it was called “La clave del éxito” (“The key to success”; in English, All the Right Moves). It’s pretty dreadful, but there’s one scene that really motivated me, and I think it carries an excellent message that any parent should teach their children, whatever their age.
And not just teach it, but help them apply it, because I truly believe that part of whatever success we have in the future may come from the good habit of not giving up and of giving our best.
In the film, the young people of the town have only two career paths: working at the steel mill where several generations have worked before them, or being good football players, because that’s the only way to get a scholarship to go to university.
When this football team takes on one of the best teams around, the coach’s emotional speech is priceless:
Today everyone expects you to lose, because nobody has ever beaten the team we’re up against, but today you have the chance to show everyone what you’re going to do for the rest of your lives.
Today the field is your life.
If you let fear rule you, fear will always rule your lives.
If you listen to the people who say you’re not going to win today, other people’s opinions will always control your lives.
If you give up on the field today, you’ll always give up on anything you do in your life.
If you throw in the towel today, you’ll always throw in the towel when things get hard.
Today the field represents your life. The way you behave today is the way you’ll always behave in your life.
A similar speech that won’t leave you indifferent appeared, ironically, in one of the best comedies of recent years, Grown Ups (“Niños grandes” in Spain). At the start of the film, the coach’s words at the celebration after winning the championship are excellent:
Today you played the way I’ve always asked you to play. You gave everything on the basketball court, and that’s why, when the final buzzer sounded, you were champions.
All I ask is that you live your lives the way you played today, and that way, when life’s final buzzer sounds, you won’t regret a thing.
The truth is that life is a constant competition. And it isn’t true that taking part is what matters, because those are the words the loser always hears in a competition. The winner knows that competition is about winning.
But it is true that you shouldn’t focus too much on the result, because the result is simply the sum of the effort and decisions we’ve made. That’s why you should teach your children not to get into the habit of giving up in the face of difficulty.
It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about a competition or a simple jigsaw puzzle. If they start it, they should finish it. If they can’t do it alone, help them, because it’s true that if you get into the habit of giving up on the little things, imagine how you’ll act when faced with big things that are much more complicated. Letting them give up today is crippling their future.
Likewise, it’s also true that when we give our best, we can succeed or fail, we can win or lose, but there are no regrets that we could have done much more than we did.
Further reading
- 26 lessons to prepare your child for the real world
- 10 tips for raising entrepreneurial children
- How to change your life radically
See also: 6 secrets of life you can learn from those who have lived longest
Featured image: Britt Fuller, Public domain, via Flickr.
