Want to make someone’s day? There are some very simple words that can radically change someone’s day, and perhaps their life too, as well as yours. They’re things to say to your employees, co-workers, friends, family and so on, which we sometimes forget, and which at other times, because of our job, our position or our responsibilities, we think are beside the point. Nothing could be further from the truth.
These nine “magic phrases” are words that, as I now realise, the best professionals I’ve known never hesitated to use.
In fact, I think that’s partly why they were good professionals, because not even the passing of time has erased my memory of their professional and human qualities. Whatever your position in the company (and outside it), try saying them every day when the situation calls for it.
What are these magic words that will win people over and brighten their day?
1. Thank you, and “you’re welcome”
We shouldn’t wait until we trip and someone helps us up to say thank you. Especially when we’re in a position of authority, we can sometimes come to think that people do something (a task, an errand…) simply because we pay them.
Try to always be grateful, especially for the more complex tasks that many people do for us. It’s simple: all you have to do is look the person in the eye and say “thank you very much” with a smile.
Likewise, some people thank us mechanically. Don’t be afraid to break the routine with “Don’t mention it, it was a pleasure to help you.” And don’t hold back from rewarding your team with “You’ve done a great job, congratulations.” They’re small details, but they really can brighten other people’s day.
2. This is what I think. Does anyone have another idea?
Being in a management position puts you where you get the final say, but that doesn’t mean we’re always right. You should justify any proposal with logic and reasoning, not with rank and authority.
Always give your team a little room to express their ideas. I insist that if more managers listened to their staff’s ideas, they would sometimes discover that they have some very smart people.
At the same time, we’re giving our team the chance to be part of the company rather than robots who obey orders without thinking. The simple fact that your team feels listened to will make them feel part of the business project.
3. I was wrong
Admitting mistakes or errors doesn’t make you a bad professional. Quite the opposite. If, after you make a decision, the result isn’t what you expected, don’t look for someone to blame. And don’t make the mistake of not talking about it with your team, especially if they know what happened. When people make a mistake and admit it, they don’t lose respect; on the contrary, they gain it.
4. That was amazing (or something similar)
Praising someone else’s work or effort won’t damage your image. In fact, praise has all but disappeared from companies these days. It’s sad to see a company split into two classes of people: “those who pay and give the orders on one side, and those who get paid and take orders from the first group on the other.”
Whatever happened to the team, the shared project, the sense of corporate family a company should have? If a salesperson has doubled their sales this month, a word of praise will help them next month, because their work is being recognised.
Some bosses think something like: “That’s what he’s there for, that’s what we pay him for.” Wrong. Change that way of thinking, call him into your office and tell him: “Wow… How did you do it? Congratulations.”
5. I’m sorry
There are two types of people. There are those who, once they realise they’ve let someone down, ignore the problem and carry on as if nothing had happened, hoping time will cool things off. Then there are those who say “I’m sorry” or “forgive me”.
We all make mistakes, so we should all apologise when the time comes. It might be after a work argument, after a misunderstanding or after a false accusation. If you had the nerve to get it wrong and create a conflict, have the courage to humbly give the other person what they deserve, which is nothing more than an apology. Then you can make a fresh start with them.
6. Can you help me?
Imagine you’re new at a company, and “Mr Perfect” politely asks whether you could help him, since you might know as much as he does about the subject, or more. Many people, simply because you ask them for help, don’t feel they’re doing you a favour; they feel you’re doing them one, just by thinking of them and taking them into account.
7. Hang on, I’ll give you a hand
When was the last time you helped a co-worker or an employee with a task that was theirs and not your job?
Don’t ask “Do you want me to help you?” No: most people will tell you it’s not necessary, that they can manage. Just tell them “I’m going to give you a hand.” This gesture shows that you care about others, that you’re not just paying the usual lip service, but rolling up your sleeves and helping without anyone asking you to.
8. I love you (all)
Clearly these words are very necessary in the family and with our partner, but at work… why on earth not?
I remember when I was 19, our boss was collecting an award for best group leader nationwide. He raised the trophy, his eyes on the verge of tears, and after a few moving words of thanks to his team he said, loud and clear, “You guys won this, I love you all!!”
He was my first boss, the first mirror I looked at myself in. We were the best because that person brought out the best in us. He always stood up for his team, and his team stood up for him.
Many people probably think that treating your staff that way means crossing a line, but that way of treating us is precisely what made us break through the sales barrier too.
9. Nothing
Sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all. There are moments when you’re “heated”, angry, annoyed, worked up… In those cases, use the old trick of taking 300 breaths before saying anything. Never address an employee in public when you’re upset.
First, it’s considered disrespectful. And second, it shows very poor professionalism, poor leadership and, while you’re at it, recklessness, because you might say a few words in 30 seconds and regret them for weeks or months.
Once you use these nine phrases every day, to the point where they come out naturally rather than forced, you won’t just be more polite: you’ll be a better person and a better professional, because, among other things, the people around you will be more motivated and will think more highly of you. Give it a try. You’ve got nothing to lose, and who knows, you may notice the results sooner than you expect.
Further reading
- 18 business lessons you’ll learn sooner or later
- The secret of happiness found in a 75-year Harvard study
- 7 psychological traps that can hold back your success
Featured image: Carol VanHook from Tennessee, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
.jpg){kind=link}