We have accepted many sayings and beliefs as absolute truths simply because someone said them a long time ago, and people have rarely stopped to question them. A recent Quora thread asked exactly this: “What life lessons are counterintuitive or go against popular belief?” We picked what we considered the best answers, and naturally the ones I personally agree with.
1. Conflict and disagreement can be very healthy.
People tend to think that a feel-good atmosphere in a company where everyone moves in unison is a good thing, but the truth is that productive disagreement is a hallmark of successful teams. Bringing in ideas that clash with each other can create conflict within a company’s teams, but in the end the idea with the strongest argument wins. The road to failure is surrounding yourself with people who never contradict you and who think just like you.
2. The traits you criticize most harshly in others are often traits you have yourself.
Freud called it projection. We tend to hate our own flaws so much that we criticize them in other people. Throughout history we have seen prominent homophobes who led movements against homosexuality turn out to have deep internal conflicts about their own sexuality. In other words, they were gay men so deeply repressed that they projected that hatred onto people like them who lived openly.
Likewise, only insecure people criticize the flaws of others. Someone who is at peace with themselves does not usually go around bothering other people.
3. Money does buy happiness and love.
Happiness is nothing more than the absence of sadness and discomfort. Likewise, sadness is the lack of happiness.
Money helps you be happy if you spend it on the right things. For example, if you use it to buy a better bed, you will sleep much better at night and wake up with more energy the next day, so your mood will be more positive, and therefore you will be happier.
That said, going from 90 million to 200 million will not change your happiness, but going from earning €2,000 a month to earning €400 may well bring unhappiness.
As for love, having more money can make you more attractive and more appealing to the opposite sex. It increases your chances of attracting a partner, and not necessarily out of materialism: a protection bias would be at play.
4. Owning your weaknesses opens the door to success.
We spend our whole lives showing off our strengths, but very few people openly admit and joke about their weaknesses. Those who do are usually successful people, so confident in themselves that they do not mind acknowledging their weaknesses, the things they are not good at. That way it is very hard to attack a possible “hang-up”, because they simply do not have one.
It shows great honesty and a lack of bragging, and it makes you more trustworthy. It even makes you more attractive.
5. Laziness can be a trait of great leaders.
One of the secrets of business success is knowing how to delegate. Lazy leaders tend to delegate much more to their teams, which makes their subordinates feel more empowered and therefore more developed professionally.
6. A high IQ does not make you more intelligent when it comes to success.
Psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth has pointed out that, within a normal IQ range, the highest scores make no difference among the most successful people. According to her, success is predicted not by IQ but by grit and willpower.
7. Thinking about your death is good for you.
As one of Steve Jobs’s famous quotes put it, being aware that you are going to die keeps you focused, because you know there is no time to lose and no reason to waste time on fears. So knowing that you could die tomorrow, in a week or in three months can set you on the right path to pursue your passions and enjoy every day doing what you love.
8. The best opportunities come from acquaintances.
Both good job opportunities and business opportunities come from acquaintances (close or distant), so it is vital to build the widest possible network of contacts. The bigger our network, the greater the chance of finding opportunities of all kinds.
9. Too much funding when starting a business increases the chances of failure.
Many entrepreneurs complain about a lack of funding. But the data show that when a new business is started with money to spare, it has higher failure rates.
A lack of financial means makes you more creative and lays the foundations more solidly. You do not take the next step until you have consolidated the previous one. When we have money to spare, we tend to overinvest in things that are not really necessary, and excess money does not always bring customers in sooner unless it is spent on the truly productive side of the business.
10. The harder you try to impress someone, the less they will like you.
Whether we are talking about work or about trying to win someone over, all the strategies in the world cannot replace people’s natural ability to sense whether someone is authentic. We like authenticity, and forcing a situation is rarely a good idea.
Further reading
- 8 life lessons from Warren Buffett
- The personality trait that best predicts success
- 21 things young people should know and accept in their twenties
- 10 pieces of life advice you will be grateful for after 30
Featured image: Max Halberstadt, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
.jpg){kind=link}