Persuasion is a trait you need in practically any field (business, leadership, sales…), and yet it is one of the skills we cultivate least. Persuasion means convincing investors that a project is worth it, convincing a customer that a product is ideal for them, or convincing your employees that they need to get more involved to fight for a new business goal. That’s why the ability to persuade is so important in any business or profession.
Although there are all kinds of techniques that can make us more persuasive, the truth is that, as in other areas, naturalness always beats technique.
Even so, as with other achievements, we have to start by using certain techniques until, through practice, they become part of us. We’ll start with some basic steps and tips and work up to the more advanced ones.
Step zero: persuasion is built on trust.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a team leader or a humble telephone salesperson. If someone on the other end of the line is buying, it is to some extent because that person has trusted you. Earning trust may come naturally to some people, but for others it may be one of the hardest steps. One way or another, there’s no persuasion if trust fails.
1. Listen.
When we talk about negotiating or selling, we always say that we gain much more by listening than by talking. In this case, when it comes to persuading someone, we’re going to really listen. And we’re going to give that person our time and attention even if we already know what they’re telling us. People like to feel listened to, and they appreciate whoever listens to them, because it shows interest in them.
2. Ask.
When we ask people about their worries and concerns, or simply ask about their life and their family, we’re telling them that we care about them; that we want to know about them. Every employee likes having a boss who takes the trouble to get to know them a little better.
3. Connect.
If you’re negotiating, sitting alongside five competitors, and you’re able to create a connection with that person, you’ll have won. And a connection can be something as basic as sharing an interest in an unusual activity; sometimes as basic as having studied at the same university as that person or having children at the same school.
When it comes to leading teams, we’re talking about a deeper kind of connection, because the leader has to show a human connection with the team. If your employees don’t feel like numbers, they’ll fight like people to meet their own goals and the group’s.
4. Sorry and thank you.
It doesn’t matter where, when or to whom. If you’ve made a mistake or hurt someone in some way (even unintentionally), apologise. It doesn’t matter what your rank is. If you got it wrong, swallow your pride and make sure you apologise, even publicly. It won’t make you weaker in other people’s eyes; it will make you much bigger as a person and as a professional.
In the same way, learn to say thank you. The fact that you pay someone a salary doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be grateful for that person’s good work. Clearly, we’re talking about the bare minimum of good manners.
(Read: 9 simple, extraordinary things to say to the people at your company every day)
5. Give people what they want.
We all like being given what we want. Even when Jordan Belfort was selling penny stocks to the clients he swindled, he was giving them exactly what they wanted: a great opportunity to make money. Was it what they needed? Certainly not, but it was exactly what they were looking for.
People want the opportunity for something: more money, more power, a promotion, to feel important… And that is why great leaders are always selling a team project, a shared dream.
The leader who just hands over a salary in exchange for 10 hours of work is a thing of the past. Companies that thrive have committed people on their staff. Give people what they want, and they’ll give you what you want.
6. Honesty.
All the techniques in the world won’t make you more persuasive if everyone knows you’re a social climber who will step on anyone to get ahead. Being a person of integrity, honest and true to your word, means having a natural power of persuasion, because people will trust you by default. When it comes to persuasion, honesty is priceless; and these days it’s also very hard to find.
More advanced persuasion techniques
7. Play with the speed of your speech.
We have already looked at some traits of the most persuasive and charismatic leaders, where having a deep, low voice helped make what they said more credible. Here we’re talking about speed.
Salespeople who use this technique tend to get better results:
- If you think your audience is going to disagree with the points you’re about to make, speak quickly.
- If you think they’re going to agree, speak more slowly.
When the audience is going to disagree, speaking faster gives them less time to form their own counter-arguments, while speaking slowly gives them the chance to weigh up the arguments.
A useful example: when you’re negotiating a product or service in a meeting, speak quickly about the disadvantages and very slowly about the advantages. That way, at least, the most apathetic person in the group will have to be very alert if they want to throw us off our game.
8. Confidence and conviction.
They say that the confidence with which you speak often beats experience. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a group and watched two people argue about something when one of them is wrong: on one side there’s a shy person giving completely detailed, accurate arguments, and on the other there’s a guy who has no idea what he’s talking about but says it with conviction.
Avoid words like “I believe”, “I think”, “it could be”… If you think something is so, then it is, full stop. Politicians have been selling us things this way since the dawn of time, and as you can see, it has worked for them.
9. Talk about your failures.
The typical speech of the winner who has never made a mistake in his life is outdated. These days, only someone who intends to con you uses that kind of speech.
What’s the point of talking about our failures and even laughing at ourselves?
As well as showing humility, psychologically the other person picks up on something very logical: “If this person is asking me to trust him, and tells me about his wins and his failures, then when a setback comes along, he won’t have any problem telling me.”
An old man I once met used to say: “Never trust people who have no visible flaws, because then their flaws are unspeakable.”
And finally, we should use a clear, direct and concise message. Try to be as natural as possible, because authenticity is the best way to persuade. And if sometimes you need to use a swear word to describe a situation or a particular point better, feel free to do so if the script calls for it. That’s authenticity.
Further reading
- 10 words you should delete from your vocabulary
- How to get customers to trust your business
- 15 habits of successful salespeople
Featured image: Cesare Maccari, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
