Editor’s note: This article was first published in July 2015, and the author’s statement that he is 36 is his age in 2015.
Following on from our article 21 things young people and university students need to accept in their 20s, this time we turn to a Quora thread that asked, “What are the most difficult and useful things people have to learn in their 20s?“. We have gathered some of the best answers and advice and added a few points of our own.
To start with, young university students should know that the degree they are studying is probably already out of date. Their lecturers are probably teaching syllabuses that no longer fit, because things have taken an incredible turn in recent years.
In this new era, if you want to do something, just do it. (See: It is easier than ever today: you don’t need permission to pursue your dreams.) That brings us to the first point.
1. Your view of the world and of work may be flawed
“Get a degree, and as soon as you finish you will be hired. You will earn a good salary in line with how hard your degree was, get good holidays as thanks for the work you have done for the company that decided to hire you, have job security, and so on.”
But no. Right after you graduate, you will probably find yourself sending out lots of CVs without success.
With luck, someone may offer to hire you for a lousy salary, with no chance of asking for much, because someone else will do the same job for less money. Would you have studied journalism if you had known you would be working for the minimum wage, or on a permanent intern’s pay for years?
What we understand today as “job security” will probably disappear. We live in the age of the “personal brand”, with a shift towards freelance or self-employed work, and most companies will prefer to outsource tasks rather than keep workers on the payroll. That may look like a huge obstacle for anyone who wants to get ahead in life, but it is a huge opportunity for those who know how to make the most of it. Quite simply, the idea of work is changing.
Get ready for a time when both romantic relationships and working relationships will have a short shelf life.
2. Life is hard in your 20s, but… it will always be hard
You will always have complications of every kind. Setbacks are part of adult life. Things don’t always turn out the way you expect. And nobody is going to hand you anything. Everything you want will take sweat, effort and sacrifice.
People talk about a bad patch or a temporary setback and wait for better times, but in the end you discover that there are always problems and setbacks. There is always chaos. So the only way to enjoy life is to learn to live with the chaos, see the positive side of difficulties and enjoy the good moments life will give you. And you will have some very good moments, so learn to enjoy them. Don’t let problems wipe out the good things in your life.
You will fail again and again: in a relationship, at work, in business… You will probably be fired, you will probably suffer injustices, you will probably see relatives fall ill and go through hard times financially. But that is life. It is hard. As the saying goes, “life is a gift, and once you unwrap it, you decide whether it makes you happy or unhappy”.
3. If you want to succeed, you will have to learn, unlearn and relearn
We are all born geniuses, but over time we become idiots if we do nothing to prevent it. The truth is that the education system rewards you for learning the capitals of every country in the world, the names of mountains and mountain ranges, and even natural logarithms.
I am 36, and knowing all that has not helped me one bit in the real world. Eighty per cent of what you learn at university is disposable, so if you want to succeed or gain a competitive edge over others, it is once you have finished school or university that you will have to learn what is truly useful: what you enjoy, and what you need.
The subjects you will need to learn to improve your life are, universally, sales (persuasion, negotiation…), financial education, communication skills and, of course, everything you need to get better at the profession you want to pursue.
And there are only three ways to learn: by reading, by taking courses, or by repeatedly doing what you want to learn in practice, not in theory.
(See: How to work out what to do with your life: the perfect job or business for you)
4. You are replaceable at work
Even though many companies present themselves as treating their employees like one big family, the truth is that for most of them you are just a replaceable number. In other words, you are a member of the family, but a disposable one.
They may swap you for someone more capable, or for someone useless. When that happens, you will have two options: go under (I don’t recommend it), or fiercely prove what you were worth. How? By sinking that company from the competition (that way you won’t get bored). That is how you show your boss what you are worth.
5. Hurry up and look for, find and devote yourself to your passion or whatever you want to do
Between having a terrible job and having no job at all, it is clearly better to be working, but don’t get comfortable. People sometimes laugh at me when I say this: today you are 20 and think you are young and have plenty of time ahead of you. But 30 comes faster than you think, and you are no longer young, even if you still get drunk at weekends like a teenager.
So start chasing your dreams today, start failing today, start taking risks today, because at that age you have more than enough time to recover from anything.
6. Nobody owes you anything. Get over it
It is typical of newly graduated young people to believe that society owes them something: a job, money, some privilege… Unfortunately, nobody owes you anything. I’ll go further: you haven’t earned anything yet.
Want respect? Earn it. Want a job and can’t find one? Create it yourself. Want money? Earn it. Learn to use the means within your reach to make money while you prove your worth to society.
Remember that when a law graduate starts working at a supermarket checkout, at that moment you are not a lawyer but a shop assistant who once studied law.
Were you told that if you got a degree you would have access to a good, well-paid job? You were lied to. A degree gives you an edge over someone who doesn’t have one, but it guarantees nothing.
7. Decisions made in seconds can have consequences for years, or forever
Never make decisions under the influence of an emotional state, whether it is euphoria or its negative counterpart. Decisions made on an emotional impulse can affect your happiness for years. So when you are upset, go and think things over in a neutral corner until it passes. Analyse the situation, then make the decision when you are calmer. The same goes for when you feel extremely happy.
8. There will always be someone better than you at anything
There will always be someone smarter than you, more cheerful, funnier, more attractive and happier than you, even someone with things you can’t have. That is why the secret of happiness lies not in comparing yourself with others, but in improving yourself and accepting yourself, flaws and all.
Above all, live your life, take charge of your life and let others live theirs, because if you are constantly comparing yourself with others, you will have only one certainty in your life: frustration.
9. Money is very important and very hard to earn
The message that money isn’t important comes from only two kinds of people: a billionaire, and someone without a single damn euro in their pocket who comforts themselves by saying words they don’t believe themselves.
You will need money, and you will have to find a way to earn it. Then you will discover how hard it is to earn, and how quickly it goes if you can’t hold on to it. Living reasonably well is expensive, especially by today’s standards of living.
We finish with some short pieces of advice from Rich Tatum:
- Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.
- Companies don’t love you. They have no heart. You are replaceable, so always keep a good parachute handy.
- Most disappointments come from unmet expectations. Don’t expect more from people than they can give. Choose realistic expectations.
- Don’t raise other people’s expectations if you are not going to do your part to meet them.
- Don’t complain all the time. Change your situation or learn to change how you see it.
- Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you have without having earned it. Your intellect and your looks are sometimes undeserved gifts of birth. Stay humble, because both can disappear at any moment.
- Never hold back an apology when someone deserves one. Apologise quickly and sincerely. “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” are two of the phrases that make you a good person.
- If you are bored, you are doing something really wrong.
Further reading
Featured image: Theonlysilentbob, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
