Editor’s note: This article was first published in October 2017. Screen-time and youth substance-use figures change quickly, and the author’s promise to cover youth drinking and drug use later on refers to that time.
Research from several universities, including the University of North Carolina and the University of California, suggests that parental involvement is a more significant factor in academic success than the qualities of the schools themselves.
And the vast majority of teachers agree. Parents play a bigger role than the school. In fact, all the work done by teachers can go down the drain the moment parents forget that education and habits are built at home, not outside it.
“You can often tell what kind of parents a child has without ever meeting them. You just have to watch the child.”
Business Insider asked more than 40 teachers what parents should do at home to help their children improve, and we’ve picked the best suggestions:
1. Read with them
“Read to them, read with them and have them read to you.” Every single teacher agreed on this habit, calling it the most important thing you can do with your children. Children tend to imitate us, even unconsciously. They are more likely to enjoy reading if you are a reader first.
2. Eat dinner together
Family meals are precious time you can spend catching up on each other’s lives. Communication between parents and children is one of the most important things for success at school and in life, and sadly, between television, phones and lack of time, it’s being lost. Some parents only talk to their children when they’ve done something wrong. And that’s a mistake.
3. Be a good role model
If you want them to read, be a reader first. If you want them to like maths, stop telling them you hated maths. If you want your child to be polite and courteous, show them that you are polite and courteous.
It’s no coincidence that a high percentage of children whose parents have been to prison end up in prison themselves one day. Be careful about what your child hears and sees at home, because they may copy it.
4. Have high expectations for your children
It’s no secret these days that we can condition a child for success just as much as for failure. Avoid telling a child what they won’t be able to become; instead, focus on helping them discover and explore, and on helping them achieve what they want to achieve.
5. Try to keep them away from screens
Children and teenagers today spend about 11 hours a day looking at a screen: phone, computer, television… But we teach them to do it from a young age, as a way of keeping the child entertained and quiet. The time you can give a child to play outside, go for a walk or look at the clouds can be very valuable today.
(See: The 7 best educational apps for children to learn and develop their brains while having fun)
6. Don’t let them be lazy
Make sure they finish what they start and complete their homework. If they need help, help them, but you have to instil discipline and responsibility. Otherwise, if today they give up on a puzzle or their homework because it’s hard, tomorrow they’ll give up when difficulties arise in life.
7. Be involved
One teacher points out that the parents who come to school meetings are precisely the parents of the children who are doing well. Some parents don’t answer calls, emails or messages. This teacher’s advice is: “Don’t ask your child how school is going, because they’ll say fine. Come in and let us tell you.”
See also: 10 tips for raising entrepreneurial children
8. Work with teachers, not against them
Make sure your child knows that you and the teacher are on the same page when it comes to discipline, academic success and social and emotional health. If the child knows their parents will rescue them from the teacher when they get told off, you’re already failing. If the child sees you disrespect the teacher, then with all due respect, you’re raising someone who is going to lose out in life.
9. Play with them
Warmth, affection, family love and having fun together will give your child a much more positive and happy character.
10. Look after their health
It seems obvious, but the food children eat today is loaded with sugar and fat. Here, too, teachers agree: less sugar and fat, and more exercise.
And although we’re talking about children here, the truth is that in adolescence all the work done during childhood can slip through our fingers. For some reason, in Spain at least, we are breaking records for young alcoholics and for consumption of all kinds of drugs. I promise to come back to this subject later on, because the figures are starting to be worrying, and I believe it can be addressed at home.
See also: 26 lessons to prepare your child for the real world
Featured image: Todd Petrie, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
