Social skills open doors in every sense. When it comes to professional success and business, social skills even ranked above hard work (see: the 50-30-20 rule for career success). And best of all, anyone can work on them to gain a few “grams” of this skill.
Being likeable is entirely within your control. All you need is the ability to pick up a few key social skills that make up emotional intelligence. In a recent Quora thread, some users asked which social skills ordinary people could learn quickly. We have gathered the best answers.
Here are seven simple ways to start building a good personality and be the most pleasant person wherever you go. They don’t guarantee success, but they open the door to it.
(See: Want to earn more than average? Social and maths skills will help)
1. Make eye contact.
It’s a simple thing, but it is still one of the most powerful life hacks of all. The most attractive thing about a person is that they come across as confident. The best substitute for confidence, in terms of interactive behaviour, is eye contact.
Start this habit right away. It doesn’t take practice or any special skill, just the commitment to meet someone’s gaze and look them in the eye during the conversation.
(See: 7 body language techniques that will help you in business)
2. Keep your phone in your pocket.
And keep it there until your conversation or meeting is over. There is nothing more annoying than trying to talk to someone who isn’t listening to you because they keep looking at their phone.
This is another simple but effective habit you can put into practice immediately, and it takes no effort or skill. It is a social skill called “respect”, and respect and good manners are already a skill in themselves.
3. Call people by their name.
The next time someone greets you by name or uses your name during a conversation, remember how good it makes you feel.
If you have trouble putting names to faces, try different strategies, such as writing them down or using images or rhymes associated with the name.
4. Smile.
Don’t underestimate the power of a smile. A simple smile opens all the doors that bitterness or an air of sadness closes. A smile is not only the great weapon of the charmer, but the greatest ally of anyone who makes a good impression.
People like cheerful people with a sense of humour. People unconsciously mirror the body language of the person who is speaking. If you want to be likeable, use positive body language and people will naturally return the favour.
(See: 25 habits of successful people)
5. Give a firm handshake.
Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within a few seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake goes a long way towards making a good first impression, as do good posture and positive body language.
6. Don’t just hear; listen actively.
Likeable people really listen to the person who is speaking.
We all think listening is important, but not all of us do it properly. Many people focus on what they are going to say once the other person stops talking. They don’t even try to check what they think they heard, let alone pick up on the tone or the emotional nuances. Nobody learns anything by hearing themselves talk. That is why active listening takes four steps: listening, interpreting, evaluating and responding.
(See: An FBI agent reveals 8 techniques for getting anyone you’ve just met to like you)
And don’t forget presence.
Within the first 5 seconds we have formed an impression, so people often tend to try to confirm it and look for arguments that validate the first impression they got of someone else.
Beauty is on the inside, but various studies have shown that even a book’s cover predicts whether it will sell more or less. A product’s packaging counts, and so the way a person dresses opens the door to using all the other ingredients of social skills. Poor “packaging” can close a door on you immediately.
See also: 11 secrets of irresistible people
Featured image: Giovanni Boldini, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
