Most business owners and professionals pay far more attention to what they say than to how they say it. And that’s a shame, because success depends to a great extent on how well things are communicated.
With that in mind, there are five common speech habits that, according to Geoffrey James, greatly limit your ability to inspire and guide others, and make you less credible.
(See: 3 communication skills every business leader must master)
1. Interrupting conversations.
If you are a perceptive person, you probably know what a lot of people are going to say, especially once they have started talking. If so, it’s very tempting to save time by interrupting the conversation to move it forward.
There are two problems with interrupting: one is that it’s disrespectful to the other person, and the other is that the other person might have said something valuable and we haven’t given them the chance to do so.
Always let the other person finish their sentences. If they are saying something predictable, listen more deeply to pick up on tone and nuance. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn.
(See: Listen more than you talk: the best advice Richard Branson ever received)
2. Delivering a monologue.
Strong business relationships grow out of conversations. A monologue is the opposite of a conversation: it’s talking to yourself without caring about anyone else.
This happens above all in presentations, when the speaker gives the audience no room to take part. It also happens in meetings, when someone starts pouring out information and opinions that are of no interest to anyone but the person speaking.
In conversations and presentations alike, be aware of how many statements you have made. Try not to let the count go above three without asking a question or giving people the chance to share their ideas.
3. Criticising someone who isn’t present.
If you have had an argument with someone at work, it can be very tempting to point out their personal flaws to anyone willing to listen.
Whenever you speak badly of someone, however, the other person may wonder: “What is this person saying about me behind my back?”
Before saying something about someone who isn’t present, ask yourself three questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Unless the answer to all three is yes, it’s better to keep quiet.
Always remember: “What Peter says about Paul tells you more about Peter than about Paul.”
4. Swearing.
There are moments in life and in business when swearing is the only sensible and satisfying response.
That said, using bad language every day marks you as someone whose anger sits just below the surface and who lacks the imagination to come up with something original.
Habitual swearing is exactly that: a habit. To break it, watch your words and replace them with milder, less offensive terms, even if that means always repeating the same one.
5. Bragging.
Contrary to popular belief, a personal brand isn’t about you; it’s about what you or your services say to other people.
Boasting about your achievements (or those of your team, company or product) doesn’t increase your credibility; it simply bores people. It also makes you look arrogant and, therefore, less believable.
If you have to talk about yourself, don’t bother defining who you are; instead, be specific about how you have helped others and how you can help them even more in the future.
See also: Public speaking tips from the world champion of public speaking
Featured image: Landesarchiv Baden-Württemberg, Staatsarchiv Freiburg W 134 Nr. 076330a / Fotograf: Willy Pragher, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
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