Editor’s note: This article was first published in November 2015; the studies it cites, including a recent Bowling Green study, a 2014 University of Michigan study and a 2014 study on children born into poverty, were current then.
Much of what happens to us as children can significantly affect how we behave as adults.
Of course, no one can say with certainty, let alone guarantee, that a happy child will grow into a successful adult. However, a number of psychological studies, gathered by Business Insider, have highlighted several childhood experiences that could have a decisive influence on our adult lives.
Here are some of the things we know today about how certain events and experiences in your childhood influence your success as an adult. As we will see, some of them may clash with current beliefs.
1. Your social skills in kindergarten can help determine whether you go to university or get a job.
A study by researchers at Penn State and Duke found that children described as “socially competent” in kindergarten were much more likely to earn a university degree and hold a full-time job by age 25 than those with limited social skills. The latter were more likely to be arrested, use harmful substances and apply for public housing.
As we can see, social skills are not only a predictor of success in adulthood: acquired at an early age, they can shape our future success.
2. A study suggests that going through your parents’ divorce as a young child could affect your relationship with them as an adult.
If your parents separated when you were between 3 and 5 years old, you are likely to have an insecure relationship with them as an adult, especially with your father, according to a study from the University of Illinois.
3. Imitating your parents’ behaviour as a child could be a sign that you will be a little more open-minded as an adult.
If you copied everything your parents did when you were a child, even when it made no sense, you may have developed a willingness to assume that actions have an “unknown” purpose, according to a study by researchers at the University of KwaZulu-Natal in Durban, South Africa, and the University of Queensland in Australia.
4. If you are a woman and your mother worked, you may be more likely to take on a leadership role and earn more money.
According to a Harvard Business School study, girls who grew up with mothers who worked outside the home stayed in education longer, were more likely to hold an important job and earned 23% more than girls raised by stay-at-home mothers.
5. If you are a man and your mother worked, you are more likely to be a hands-on father.
The sons of working mothers also tended to be more involved in housework and childcare. The same Harvard study found that, on average, they spent seven and a half hours a week caring for children and 25 minutes more on household chores.
6. If you were sexually abused as a child, you could have problems with memory and emotional control as an adult.
Neuroscientific research at Harvard University found that sexual abuse in childhood can stunt the development of three key areas of the hippocampus that control memory and the regulation of emotions.
7. Trying to be “cool” at school could lead to problems as an adult.
Researchers at the University of Virginia found that teenagers who get into drinking, smoking, late-night partying and sex are more likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol and to be involved in serious crime by the age of 20.
8. The higher the parents’ income, the higher the child’s school results.
According to researchers at Stanford University, the achievement gap between children from high- and low-income families is almost 40% larger among children born in 2001 than among those born 25 years earlier, when the income gap between high- and low-income families was much smaller.
9. If you grow up in poverty, your memory could suffer.
People who grow up in the lowest socioeconomic classes end up with a weaker memory (that is, a reduced capacity to hold several items in mind at once) as adults, according to a study from the University of Oregon.
10. If you watch a lot of violent television as a child, you are more likely to be an antisocial or aggressive adult.
The National Institute of Mental Health, the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association all regard exposure to television violence as a risk factor for real-life violence.
11. Learning maths very early makes you better at maths and at reading.
A 2007 analysis of 35,000 preschool children found that learning number knowledge, the order of numbers and other basic maths concepts early in school predicts not only later maths achievement but also later reading achievement.
12. If your parents used drugs, you are likely to be a more serious and responsible adult.
If you grew up watching your parents abuse drugs or alcohol, you probably ended up acting as your parents’ parent, which likely helps turn you into a more serious, and overly responsible, adult.
13. If your mother finished university, you are more likely to do the same.
A 2014 University of Michigan study found that mothers who finished university were more likely to raise children who did the same, while children born to mothers who never went to university were less likely to earn a degree or even finish secondary school.
14. If you were bullied as a child, you are more likely to struggle as an adult.
One study followed 7,771 British children from the age of 7 to 50 and found that people who had been bullied at school had poorer relationships as adults, more depression, more anxiety, less education and lower incomes.
15. If you were allowed to watch too much television as a baby, your communication skills may have been held back.
After observing mothers and children in a study, researchers found that television reduces communication between parents and children, creating an “unproductive exchange that could hinder children’s opportunities for learning”.
16. Spending quality time with your mother helps you become an emotionally stable adult.
According to recent research from Bowling Green State University, the number of hours mothers spend with their children between the ages of 3 and 11 is not, on its own, what predicts the child’s behaviour, well-being or achievement. What matters most is the quality of the time they spend together, as the researchers found that a mother’s emotions rub off on the child.
17. If you got a light smack when you did something wrong, you may become a sly adult.
Researchers have found that trying to influence a child’s behaviour with rewards or punishments does not produce the desired behaviour. Instead, children who get a light smack will simply work harder to avoid getting caught the next time they misbehave.
18. If your parents didn’t let you make decisions, you may become a dependent adult.
If you had authoritarian parents who didn’t let you do things like choose your own clothes, your friends or your food, among other things, you may end up being a dependent adult.
19. Your parents’ expectations can help you get to university.
A University of California study found that children tend to live up to the expectations their parents have of them. That is why we have to be careful about what we tell children: we can encourage them or we can cripple them.
20. Children who have good self-control from early on are more likely to become well-functioning adults.
“Parents should forget about their children’s self-esteem and concentrate on instilling self-control,” according to self-control expert Roy Baumeister, a professor of psychology at Florida State University.
21. When your parents pay attention to you, you have healthier relationships and greater academic success by 30.
A 2014 study of children born into poverty found that those who received attention from their parents in their first three years of life not only did better on academic tests in childhood, but also had healthier relationships and higher educational attainment at 30.
22. When mothers take long maternity leave, their children are more likely to succeed as adults.
Research from the Institute for the Study of Labor in Bonn, Germany, indicates that the children of mothers who take long maternity leave have more education, a higher IQ and higher incomes as adults than the children of mothers who took no maternity leave or only a very short one.
23. If your father was close to you as a child, you are more likely to build better relationships as an adult.
According to a study by the School of Social Work at the University of Haifa, people who have an emotional connection with their father as children are more likely to have healthier relationships with their partners later in life.
24. Getting top marks for effort can be the start a child needs to get used to studying.
If children are told they did brilliantly in a test because of their innate intelligence, this creates a “fixed” mindset: the belief that it will always be that way. But if they understand that they succeeded because of the effort they put in, it creates a “growth” mindset, which is the most important way of thinking for long-term success, according to Carol Dweck of Stanford University.
Further reading
Featured image: Quinn Daedal, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Flickr.
