Editor’s note: This article was first published in May 2013, and its reference to a severe crisis describes the economic crisis in Spain in 2013.
Truly happy and successful people achieve that success by becoming the best and most genuine version of themselves. Of course, the best version of yourself isn’t found on the outside, but on the inside.
It isn’t about a brand or a reputation. It’s about reality. Who are you, really? It may sound too simple, but that’s because it is a simple concept. Even so, the problem is very hard to solve, and some people spend their whole lives trying to figure it out.
What is life if you can’t find yourself and try to become the best version of yourself? That’s what Steve Jobs was talking about in that wonderful speech he gave at Stanford University:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. […] You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. […] The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
(Read: How to figure out what to do with your life)
Don’t worry, I’m not going all spiritual on you :), but we have to be realistic and follow the advice of those who have lived longer. These days, if you can’t tell people exactly what you want to do and how you’re going to do it, the truth is we have a problem, both of identity and of personal growth.
If we interpret part of Jobs’s message, he was telling us that discovering yourself requires focus and discipline, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: focus means not getting distracted or losing sight of the goal, and people today aren’t focused. We aren’t disciplined either. It’s much easier to get distracted by trivial things and grab instant gratification at the expense of long-term satisfaction. Not only is it easy to fall into this, it’s also addictive. Very addictive.
How can we solve part of this problem and set off on a journey of “self-discovery”?
As the saying goes: “We can’t know where we’re going if we don’t know where we come from.”
1. Try to get to know yourself
Your abilities, your flaws and your virtues. Once you know yourself, you’ll feel much more comfortable in your own skin. This helps reduce stress and anxiety, or at least that’s what they say. We should try to figure out both what we want to be and what we don’t want to be. This will make you a better husband or wife, father or mother, sibling, friend, and so on. In short, you’ll be a better person, because whatever you’re like, if you are yourself, at least you’ll be authentic, and that’s no small thing.
2. We pay a high price when we fall into mindless distraction
In the end, the only people who really count and care about you are your loved ones, friends and family. Forget the comments of people you don’t care about and who don’t value you. Try to focus more on your own people, on your future and on that of your loved ones. Don’t waste too much time on habits that add nothing positive either, and don’t spend more time than necessary listening to the bad news going around the planet. If you can’t and won’t do anything to change it, there’s little point dwelling on it. The crisis is in fashion, and the crisis is very severe, but I can guarantee you one thing: people will get out of this crisis individually, not as a group. So focus on how you are going to get out of it. That’s just one example.
Distractions can lead to that concept from the business world called “opportunity cost”, which basically means missing a specific opportunity because you weren’t paying attention. Then you regret it, but it’s usually too late. Some people pay the opportunity cost far too many times over the course of their lives.
3. The most exciting journey you’ll ever take
Most people like to travel. It’s lovely to go to Egypt and see the pyramids, or to visit the Caribbean. Others like adventure tourism, and yet the greatest adventure is the journey we can take within ourselves. A journey where, when you set out, you don’t know where it will take you. Start that journey, because it has no guides and no scheduled destinations. You’ll go as far as you’re able to. All you have to do is set out.
Further reading
- 18 business lessons you’ll learn sooner or later
- 7 psychological traps that hold back your success
- 5 keys to excelling at whatever you set out to do
- Entrepreneurs: chasing a dream
Featured image: Alun Salt, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Flickr.
