There are words, phrases and expressions that undermine us at work, because in the end we become what others perceive us to be.
We previously published 10 words you should drop from your vocabulary; today we bring you 5 phrases that seem harmless and are actually used by most people.
They may seem like respectful expressions we should use to show good manners, but remember that other people’s unconscious perception is our greatest enemy when it comes to making an impression. As it happens, these phrases tend to be used a lot by people in a lower position when addressing those above them, or at least that is how they are perceived, so they are best avoided.
1. “Can I ask a question?”
We’re not in class, so just ask the question. Don’t ask for permission. Be decisive and simply say: “I’d like to ask you something…”. That way we avoid asking for permission, something associated with inferiority.
2. “Sorry to bother you…”
You are assuming you are bothering the other person, even if that’s not your intention, and you’re apologising for it in advance. Replace it with “Excuse me, do you have a moment?” or “Sorry to interrupt…”.
(Read: 7 body language techniques that will help you in business)
3. “I’m going to be honest (frank) with you…”
What’s going on here? Aren’t you always honest? Are you only going to be honest with me? Simply avoid this phrase. It isn’t necessary, and it brings bad vibes into a negotiation.
4. “I was wondering if maybe…”
This phrase on its own shows incredible insecurity. In fact, it may be the line most used in Hollywood romantic comedies when the shy guy is about to ask out a stunning girl who is usually out of his league.
“I was wondering if maybe you’d like to have dinner with me.” Take that into the business arena and you get: “I was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to invest in our company.” Change it to: “Would you like to invest in our company?”
5. “Thank you for listening.”
When someone says “thank you for listening to me”, they are taking it for granted that listening to them takes effort, as if they were saying “thanks for putting up with all that talk.” Shouldn’t you be the one being thanked, since your talk was worth hearing? That said, we should be grateful, so simply say “thank you” or “thank you for your time”. For a talk given to a group, we could say “Thank you for coming”, but don’t thank people for listening to you. They should be the grateful ones.
Further reading
- Techniques for becoming a good speaker
- 10 things inspiring leaders do differently at work
- 10 ways you, as a manager, make your employees less productive
Featured image: David Hall, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
