Although some people may not believe it, success isn’t always easy. And I don’t mean achieving success, but what comes once we’ve had it or are on the right path to reaching it. Before success arrives, certain difficulties usually show up that not everyone is able to handle properly. That’s why this time, continuing our series on the hard truths of life, let’s look at some hard truths about success.
12 hard truths about success
1. You’re going to offend a lot of people
It’s not really that you offend anyone, but many people are going to feel offended by what you do, say or write. Sometimes even the simple fact of doing something well is enough to offend others. If you’re an authentic person, you can’t possibly please everyone.
Why is it a good thing that many people feel offended? First of all, those people paid attention to what you do; they consume what you do. The appearance of haters is a very good sign, because sometimes they’re people who’d like to do what you do but can’t find a way, so they choose to try to tear you down.
Not everyone handles the arrival of the offended well, and some even stop to listen to them and pay them attention. The truth is that you need to know they’re part of success, but you must stay focused on what you do and keep concentrating on adding value for your followers, customers, fans or whoever.
2. You’ll be judged
It’s not a question of whether people will judge you or not. They will. It’s human nature. People are judgemental, and that judgement frightens a lot of people. We all care in one way or another about what others think or say about us, but this judgement becomes dangerous when we value other people’s opinions more than the opinion we have of ourselves.
3. Entitlement and self-respect are two different things
Entitlement means you think you deserve something. Of course, you’re going to have to work to get what you think you deserve. If you believe you deserve something, work to achieve it.
See also: Our mindset influences our success
Universal respect begins with respecting yourself. If you respect yourself, publicly and proudly, others are likely to follow. Even if nobody else follows you right now, you must have self-respect. This means you must be very clear about what you will and won’t do, what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not. Honour, dignity, values and principles will give you the respect that others will value sooner or later.
4. You don’t need people who don’t respect you
It’s a question of focus. The good thing about people who don’t respect you is that, unless they’re actually causing you some kind of harm, you can ignore them completely. They’ll never support your work or improve it. So leave them behind as quickly as you can. They’re dead weight.
5. Confidence is for everyone
You don’t need to draw attention to yourself or be too loud to be self-confident. Sometimes the most confident person in a room is the calmest, the quietest. Self-confident people know what they know and don’t need to keep proving it at every moment. Confidence comes from within.
6. Not giving a damn about anything
If you don’t give a damn about anything or anyone, you’ll soon lose sight of the consequences. You’ll start making bad decisions. Sometimes distancing yourself from other people’s opinions gets confused with not listening to other people’s advice. That’s a way of going through life blindfolded. It’s a way of confusing self-confidence with arrogance, of confusing staying away from criticism with turning a deaf ear to feedback. If you go down this road, your life will be ruled by your ego and you’ll end up falling.
7. Take care of what matters
Sometimes we find it hard to recognise what’s truly important in our lives. Often, what really matters isn’t something we have to get, but something we already have and neglect while chasing a goal.
Wherever you’re heading, identify those few people and causes that are really worth attending to and looking after.
8. Be stupid as often as you can
The experts and thought leaders, the ones who seem to have it all… the truth is there are many variables involved in identifying what worked for them in creating their success and what didn’t. Probably the only difference between them and someone who hasn’t seen success is that they tried a lot of ideas and didn’t stop trying until one of them worked.
They were more concerned with “What might happen if I…?”, unlike most people, who think “What will others think if I…?”
See also: 8 hard truths you’ll learn sooner or later
9. There’s nothing wrong with being weird or different
The only way to stand out, to set yourself apart, is to be your real self, weirdness included. If you’re not weird or different, you’re an ordinary person, so you blend in with ordinary people and get ordinary results. Embrace what makes you different, even if it’s difficult and stressful. Everyone you admire or look up to does this. Think about it: they all take ownership of what makes them different and use it to their advantage. Nobody you’ve ever heard of got there by being like everyone else.
10. Don’t let others set your limits
If someone tells you that doing this or that is too risky, or that it can’t be done, most of the time those people are talking about their own abilities and what they themselves wouldn’t be able to do. It’s true that many of these people and opinions have good intentions, but their advice is clouded by their own ideas, life experiences, abilities and choices.
That said, don’t get carried away either, because it isn’t true that we have no limits. As people we have plenty of limits, and sometimes others see what we can’t, blinded as we are by a high level of motivation that could lead us to crash into a wall. That’s why you need to know yourself very well: your strengths and weaknesses. And focus on your strengths, on what you’re tremendously good at.
11. Honesty doesn’t give you a licence to be a jerk
Some people confuse honesty with disrespect. They use the excuse that they speak plainly and are very sincere, when all they’re doing is giving themselves a kind of licence to disrespect someone with their opinions. The best way to be honest and sincere without becoming a jerk is to think before you speak.
12. Expectations are inversely related to a sense of fulfilment
Think of it this way: you’re entitled only to the work you’re going to do, not to the fruits of that work. Don’t do anything because you expect something to come of it. Do it, first and foremost, because it’s what you want to do.
It’s like writing a book expecting it to become a bestseller. Nobody can guarantee you that. Write the book because you want to write the book, because you want to help others through your writing. That way, whatever happens, you’ll already have achieved what you set out to do.
Featured image: John Haslam, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
