There are some truths in life, at times very hard ones, that we struggle to accept, but that sooner or later we will end up accepting, whether the easy way or the hard way.
1. Most people don’t care about you
They ask you “how are you?” or “how’s it going?”, not because they care. Most of the time they ask because they’re curious. Other times because they’re bored. So when you have to make a decision, don’t let their opinions affect you.
2. Your friends want you to be happy, but not happier than they are
I have seen it countless times. Every stroke of “luck” a person has had in life has often come with envy and criticism from people that person considered friends. Fortunately, not everyone is like that, and you really will end up with a couple of good friends who care about you almost as much as they care about themselves. Hold on tight to those people, look after them and help them in every way you can.
3. Some questions have no answers
Why did this or that go wrong for me? Why did that person leave me? Why didn’t my marriage work? You are going to fail many times in lots of areas of life (relationships, work, business…), but you must never give up. When faced with certain failures or certain events, sometimes you shouldn’t look for answers, because some questions simply have none. That’s why you have to let the problem go. The secret of success lies in two contradictory things:
- Persisting.
- Telling it to go to hell (knowing when to turn the page, switch to a different book, send the problem in question packing).
Sometimes, and this may be as hard as it is necessary, you will have to let people go, not because they don’t matter to you, but because you don’t matter to them. And it’s healthy to let them go.
4. You’ll have to eat a lot of crap at the start
If you want to learn to invest, you’ll have to eat the same crap I did, learning everything I have learned and putting in the same hours I have put in. If you’re going to start a business, you’ll have to make a lot of sacrifices; don’t expect, at the beginning, the dream of “living in freedom” because you have no boss. You won’t have freedom. And if you start working at a company, before you become managing director you’ll have to grin and bear it, again and again. But if you are persistent and patient, time will reward you, while time punishes those who give up easily.
See also: The hidden price of starting your own business
5. No matter how good or bad this stage of your life is, it will pass
Ironically, the good stages can end, so we have to get used to life’s ups and downs. The bad stages, on the other hand, don’t usually end unless we do our part to make that happen. In other words, walking on flat ground doesn’t mean you can’t fall into a hole, but if you are in a hole, you’ll have to work to get out of it. So always stay humble, whatever stage you are going through. In business there is a very well-known saying: “Be nice to people on your way up, because you’ll meet them on your way down.”
6. The people around you often see things more clearly than you do
People often go through problems that are carbon copies of problems the people around them have already lived through. But they think their case is different. They tell you something like “you have to be in the ring to understand”, but that’s not right.
Sometimes, to see certain problems, you precisely need to be outside the ring, not inside it, because outside eyes can see things impartially, while your view is biased. That said, always take good advice on board. At the very least, listen to it. And give it priority according to the kind of person it comes from. Above all, set your ego aside, because sometimes you know perfectly well you’re heading for a fall, and criticism stings precisely because you know you’re heading for a fall. And you know it 👉.
7. You will learn to say YES…
…yes to opportunities. When an opportunity comes along that could improve your life or your situation, say yes, even if you’re very scared, even if you don’t know how to do it. Once you say yes, the brain is powerful and will find ways forward. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried. The next opportunity will go better. Remember that if successful people have one thing in common, it’s that they took risks. If people who have failed have one thing in common, it’s that they either lived without leaving their comfort zone (even if that zone was a minefield) or gave up along the way.
8. You will learn to say NO…
…no to the people who only subtract from your life, who distract you, make you feel small, keep you busy with nothing. Learn to say no to the plans other people have made for you, if you don’t like those plans. Learn to say no to the distractions that keep you from focusing on your goals.
As for success, you achieve it by saying yes to practically everything at the beginning: yes to taking risks, to new challenges, yes to making new friends, to meeting new people, to new jobs… and then learning to say NO: no to anything that distracts me from my goals.
I recommend: 10 toxic behaviours that are ruining your life
Featured image: Tristan Schmurr, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
