What’s the best way to ruin your life? Obviously nobody wants to ruin their life on purpose, although sometimes, in certain cases, it might seem that way.
If there is one thing you should be clear about, it’s that everything depends on our decisions. We keep making decisions that lead us down one path or another. At any given moment, if you don’t like where that path is taking you, all you have to do is change it. At other times, some decisions have already done irreparable damage, and however much we want to change the situation, it’s no longer possible, so in those cases all we can do is accept the new scenario and keep moving forward.
Drastic ways to ruin your life
When we’re young, carried along by the people around us or simply out of ignorance, we can do some crazy things.
1. Stupid decisions
I know of a girl who started going out with a troubled guy (your typical lowlife). Her parents forbade the relationship, and she went all in, getting pregnant by him at 19. Within months, she found herself in a life of continual abuse.
That is a decision that, whatever happens, she will never be able to undo, because that single decision means she will never be able to break away completely from the father of her child, who isn’t going to make things easy for her or for the child. Life goes on, but for this girl it has split into a before and an after in terms of her well-being. That’s why the step before any decision you make is to think it through very carefully. A single decision can launch your life towards progress. A single decision can send you over the edge of the cliff.
2. Dabble in drugs: the best way to ruin your life
Most people who start using drugs do so because they think they’ll be able to control them, when the truth is that if you let drugs into your life, it’s the drugs that will end up controlling your life.
Simply starting to smoke can make you regret, 20 years from now, the day you put that first cigarette in your mouth. Now imagine experimenting with harder drugs. I have yet to meet anyone addicted to drugs who doesn’t have serious problems in life.
Remember Warren Buffett’s saying: “The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”
3. Clinging to the past
There’s no better way to ruin your life than to keep clinging to something from the past. For a start, you’re living in a time that no longer exists, and living in the past makes you miss the moments of the present.
Although many people don’t believe it, we can learn to control our emotions and thoughts so that we don’t get stuck in bad experiences or past traumas. You can’t drive through life looking only in the rear-view mirror, because you’re going to crash.
4. Getting into a toxic relationship
If you get into a toxic relationship, realise it’s toxic and get out, that’s fine. You chalk the mistake up on the scoreboard and keep going. You’ll simply have learned your lesson. But if you get into a toxic relationship and stay there, even knowing that being with that person isn’t good for you, it will end up infecting everything else.
The person we choose to share our life and our intimacy with is very important. In fact, we can equate the partner you choose with the love you have for yourself.
5. Not taking responsibility for your actions in life
If you’re one of those people who isn’t living the life they would have liked and who blames everything and everyone except themselves, you have a serious problem. If you don’t accept that the outcome of your life depends solely on you, you’re handing control of your life to something imaginary.
The sooner you realise that you create your own destiny, the sooner you can get to work on it. And that brings us to the next point.
6. Going through life on autopilot
Most people don’t set goals or targets, and simply wander through life with no clear direction. They work wherever they can, get whatever they’re given, and not much more. If you don’t pursue a goal, you’re letting yourself be carried along by the current of a river that, sooner or later, usually ends in a waterfall.
That’s what Tony Robbins meant when he advised avoiding life’s waterfalls, also known as the Niagara syndrome: that moment when you say “Oh, sh*t…” as you see the situation you’re in and everything you could have done to be somewhere else.
You should know that in this life, sometimes the worst decision you can make is to make no decision at all.
7. Not knowing how to improvise in the face of change or adapt to a new environment
As the saying goes, just when you think you have all the answers, life changes the questions. Everything can change overnight at any moment. You might get divorced, your business might go bankrupt, you might be fired from your job.
You need to be ready to adapt to a new environment, ready to improvise when life throws changes at you. People who can’t adapt or reinvent themselves tend to stay stuck complaining about their past situation, thinking there is nothing they can do to survive the new one.
See also: 6 life lessons I learned while day trading with millions of dollars
8. Not thinking long term
Instant gratification is one of the worst habits we can have. In fact, by collecting rewards today, you can spoil rewards in the future.
The most obvious example is saving. You can enjoy life today by spending all your money, but the lack of savings is what will bring you problems and regrets in the future.
Be clear that in the present we have to make sacrifices that will improve our future. And you should apply this to every area of your life.
9. Trying to control everything
The great secret of life is that most things can’t be controlled. Only a few things can, and those few are where we should focus.
You can control the love you feel for someone, but you can’t make that person feel the same. You can control how you behave in society, but you can’t control how others behave. You can control what happens in your life, but not what is happening in the world. So don’t torment yourself over things that don’t depend on you.
10. Developing a poor view of yourself
Throughout life, people who are always worried about what others think and let themselves be influenced can end up with all kinds of complexes, from hang-ups about their looks to doubts about their worth as a person and as a professional.
If you develop a poor view of yourself, you’ll lose sight of your own value, and you’ll stop doing many things because you’ve been told you’re no good at them. You’ll feel unattractive because you’ve been told you are.
But the truth is, at least when you’re young, if all goes well, you’ll realise years later, looking at an old photo, that you were actually more attractive than you thought and worth more than you were led to believe. Get rid of your hang-ups and limitations as soon as you can.
11. Not dealing with problems while they’re small
Given that we keep acquiring habits, if we get into the habit of ignoring small problems until we have to face them when they’re already big, sooner or later it will get you into trouble.
When a problem appears and solving it is in our hands, we have to crush it while it’s a dwarf, not when it has become a giant we can no longer handle. Remember: act when it appears rather than when it’s already an emergency.
See also: The habits of successful people
12. Envying other people
Envy is the greatest evil that can enter your life, because it will make you miserable. In fact, envy is among the five most dangerous toxic behaviours. After all, what is envy? As we explained in that article, it’s simply badly managed admiration. That is, you admire someone and would like to have what they have, but because you don’t see yourself as capable, you start to feel a kind of loathing for them.
That said, the envious person doesn’t really want what you have. They would be happy simply if you lost what you have. That’s why envy is so dangerous. It means wishing harm on others instead of seeking your own good. And it’s an attitude that can make you unhappy for the rest of your life, because there will always be people to admire, and the envious person is incapable of doing so.
13. Not chasing your dreams
This is among the most common regrets people have on their deathbed. When most people are asked what they regret in life, knowing they’re going to die, they say they regret not having taken the risk of chasing their dreams.
So never lose sight of the fact that we came into this life to fulfil our dreams, not to suffer through it.
14. Chasing your dreams without taking the time to acquire the skills and knowledge you need
An “incompetent with a goal” is like a “motivated fool”. A plain fool doesn’t do much, but doesn’t do much damage either. But a motivated fool destroys everything around him, because his capacity for destruction is proportional to his motivation. Those are the words of Emilio Duró (a Spanish business speaker).
Closely linked to one of the earlier points (thinking long term): never stop learning. We need to keep preparing and learning all the time, especially if you want to reach a goal. If you don’t prepare, you increase your chances of failure. And if that failure happens while you’re chasing your dream, you’ll end up frustrated, because deep down, however much you criticise everything and everyone, you’ll know it was your own fault.
15. Surrounding yourself with the wrong people
Just as we said about getting into a toxic relationship, there is no more direct road to failure than surrounding yourself with the wrong people. It works for ruining your personal, professional and business life alike. Try it… it never fails. And above all, play “just a little” on the edge of illegality in all sorts of matters. After all, politicians and big businessmen do it and nothing happens to them. Try your luck, and you’ll see that you won’t like the result.
See also: 10 toxic behaviours that are ruining your life
Featured image: Jchmrt, CC0 1.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
