This time we are going to draw 6 lessons, or morals, from the world of business out of 6 funny stories.
Business lessons with a sense of humour: 6 morals
First story: a lack of communication
A woman and her husband are taking a shower together when the doorbell rings. The husband stays in the shower while the woman quickly wraps herself in a towel and goes downstairs to answer the door. When she opens it, there stands Pedro, their neighbour, who gives her a lecherous look and says: “If you drop that towel so I can see you naked, I’ll give you the 900 euros I’ve got on me.” The woman thinks about it for a moment and finally drops the towel, standing naked in front of her neighbour. After a long, hard look, he hands her the 900 euros.
When the woman gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks: “Who was at the door?” “It was Pedro, the neighbour,” she replies. The husband says: “Did he say anything about the 900 euros he owes me?”
Moral: Communication is an important part of any organisation. Knowing every last detail of a situation helps you avoid compromising positions. As Gordon Gekko said, “information is power.”
Second story: the fable of the crow and the rabbit
A crow was sitting on the branch of a tree. A rabbit came up and said: “I really envy you. Can I sit around doing nothing all day like you?” “Of course,” the crow replied. “Sit down and do nothing.” The rabbit sat on the ground next to the tree to rest. That was when a fox appeared and ate him.
Moral: If you want to sit around doing nothing, make sure you do it once you are at the top. As Michael Bloomberg put it: if you want to succeed, stop going to the bathroom.
Third story: always let your boss speak first
A factory worker, a salesman and the general manager are in the warehouse when they find a magic lamp. They rub it and out comes the usual genie, who grants them 3 wishes, one each. The three start squabbling: “Me first! Me first!” The manager, like a good leader, lets the other two make their wishes first.
The factory worker says he wants to be in the Bahamas, surrounded by beautiful masseuses, doing nothing all day for the rest of his days. The genie grants it and makes him vanish, landing him on that exotic island surrounded by 365 masseuses (one for every day of the year).
The salesman says he wants to be in the Maldives with 20 adult film stars. Granted! The genie sends him there.
“Now it’s your turn. What is your wish?” the genie asks the manager. The manager makes his wish: “I want those two slackers you’ve just sent to the Maldives and the Bahamas back here before 5 o’clock this afternoon.” Granted!
Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
See also: 9 facts every salesperson should know
Fourth story: the priest and the nun
A priest offers to drive a nun back to the convent. As she sits down in the car, one of her legs is left uncovered. The priest can’t stop looking at it, and when he changes gear he accidentally puts his hand on the nun’s thigh. The nun says: “Father, remember Psalm 127.” “Sorry, Sister,” says the priest, taking his hand away. Five minutes later the priest is still staring at her leg and, in a moment of weakness, quite deliberately, puts his hand on her thigh again. The nun looks him straight in the eye and repeats: “Father, remember Psalm 127.” The priest says: “Forgive me, Sister, but the flesh is so weak…”
When they reach the convent, each goes their own way. The nun shuts herself away in the convent and the priest heads to the church to look up, desperately, what Psalm 127 was about. When he finally finds it, he reads: “Keep on searching, and further up you will find glory.”
Moral: If you are not well informed about your own profession, you will miss out on great opportunities.
Fifth story: when the human body was being formed
When the human body was being formed, all the organs got together to decide who would be the boss. The brain said it should be the boss, because without it the whole body would be paralysed. The heart said the boss should be the heart, because if it stopped working it would not send blood to the brain and the body would die. The kidneys and the pancreas had their say too, and even the genitals wanted to be the boss, because without them there would be no recreation.
But then the excrement, thoroughly annoyed, said it wanted to be the boss. The heart and the brain burst out laughing and started mocking it, pointing out that excrement isn’t even a vital organ. “Fine, you’ll see. We guarantee that in less than 15 days you’ll be begging us to be the boss,” the excrement said, in all seriousness. So the human body was formed, but with the excrement on strike, refusing to come out. Within 5 days the excrement had caused kidney problems through constipation, and in turn got into the bloodstream, reaching the heart and the brain. All the organs of the body gave in, saying: “Please, that’s enough! Come on… you’re the boss, just sort this out.”
Moral: Never underestimate anyone. Since the dawn of time, any piece of crap can end up being the boss.
Sixth story: the Coca-Cola salesman in Saudi Arabia
A Coca-Cola salesman who was sent to Saudi Arabia comes back without having sold a single Coke. A colleague asks him: “You’re such a good salesman, how come you didn’t get anywhere with the Saudis?”
The salesman explains: “I went there with all my sales arguments ready to win, but when the moment of truth came I realised that… damn… I didn’t speak Arabic.
“But my willpower wouldn’t let me stop, so I came up with a marketing strategy based on pictures, so that people would understand what I was selling and what Coca-Cola could do for them.
“I did it with 3 posters:
“First poster: a man collapsed on the desert sand, exhausted and passed out.
“Second poster: the man drinks a Coca-Cola.
“Third poster: our man has completely recovered, he’s refreshed and he can run all over the desert full of energy.
“I put those posters up all over Saudi Arabia.”
His colleague says: “My God, what a great idea, what a brilliant piece of marketing. It’s incredibly good. So how come it didn’t work and Coca-Cola sales didn’t take off?”
The salesman replies: “Bad luck. Damn it, nobody told me they read everything from right to left.”
Moral: However good a sales strategy is, it will be useless if you don’t know your potential market.
Further reading
Featured image: Alexis Lours, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
