Editor’s note: This article was first published in March 2015, and describes Lolly Daskal as president and CEO of Lead From Within, as of 2015.
Everyone wants to live a life they can be proud of. Everyone wants to succeed “their own way”, and that takes a lot of work, effort and commitment. But can it happen that, even when we give our best, our greatest effort and commitment, things don’t turn out as we expected? It certainly can.
That’s why I’ve always said that I don’t believe in luck, but I’m a firm believer in bad luck. There are some truths that may be a little uncomfortable to hear, but knowing them can at least make us think and rethink, and accepting them can help us improve our lives, or at least change our attitude towards life and all the circumstances around us.
This list of hard truths was compiled by Lolly Daskal, president and CEO of Lead From Within.
1. You can’t control a great many things, but you can control how you respond to them
In life and in business, most things, whatever we may think, are beyond our control. But there is one thing we can always control: ourselves, our reactions, our attitude and our ideas. As Viktor Frankl put it, avoiding a situation that causes you pain may not be in your hands, but choosing the attitude with which you face it is.
2. Life isn’t always happiness, but there is value in the bad as well as the good
There is tremendous pressure on us to be happy. But life is sometimes hard and painful. When we let go of the idea that only happiness has real value in life, we begin to accept life in all its complexity, with its good and bad moments. And so we will appreciate and accept life as it is.
3. Nothing lasts forever, and that’s a very good thing
Whatever the situation or emotion, you have to learn to let go when the time comes and learn to move on. Only then can we grow and mature as people. Only then can we move forward and discover other things and other people.
4. You can give it your best and still fail, and it isn’t your fault
As leaders, as business owners, as people, we tend to be very hard on ourselves. Sometimes we make the effort, give our best, do the right thing, and still things don’t turn out as we hoped, people let us down or we run into failure. If that happens, let it go and move on.
5. Not everyone likes you… luckily
Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s a very good sign. Many people will appreciate you for who you are, and others will hate you for exactly the same reason. Some will admire you and others will envy you. But if you focus on staying on good terms with yourself, you can live free of other people’s approval. And with practice, the time will come when you won’t give a damn whether certain people like you or not. That will be their problem, not yours.
6. You are born again every day
The past is gone. Every morning when you get up, it’s a new day on which you can do anything differently from the day before. Dwelling on the past paralyses you. Build on what you learned yesterday and move forward, always forward.
7. Other people’s beliefs aren’t your concern; accepting them should be
What makes this world wonderful is that we are all unique in our own way. What is right for me may be wrong for someone else, and vice versa. So don’t judge, and accept that everyone will have their own beliefs, which are probably just as mistaken as yours.
8. Some people and situations are harmful, and you have to find the strength to walk away
Sometimes you will come across people or situations where part of you (your heart) wants to stay, but your brain tells you to walk away because you are wasting your time and they are draining resources and energy from your life. You can’t let toxic people hold you back. You just have to get away as fast as possible. Sometimes the heart acts from the unconscious, while the brain acts more consciously. That’s why you need to know when not to follow your heart. When? When your brain knows for certain that you are going to crash.
(Read: 9 types of toxic people to avoid like the plague)
9. Deception, games and tricks may work in the short term, but in the long run trust is key
In business as with people, everything rests on relationships and alliances, whether we are talking about business relationships or romantic ones. You can win a woman over with tactics, but you can’t fool her for years. You can close a sale today through deception, but you won’t have won a customer. Authenticity and trust are the key ingredients in the long run.
10. There are many things you can’t choose, but you have options for each of them
You can make excuses, give in to your current situation, blame other people, settle into what is toxic, or choose a brighter path. You are the only one who decides what you want to do.
This article was inspired by one originally published on Inc.com, adapted and substantially modified.
Further reading
- 12 universal tips for your professional and romantic relationships
- 17 steps to survive the worst moments of your life
- 4 unconventional steps highly successful people take in life
Featured image: Unknown author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
