What does someone from a humble family feel when they get rich? It really is most people’s dream. Being rich is fantastic, because most of the problems and worries we used to have are gone. That’s the theory, anyway; in practice…
A Quora user shares an interesting testimony that matches what other millionaires have said. The anonymous user answers the question by telling his story and how his life changed when he became a millionaire.
(Read also: The secret of millionaires, told by millionaires)
“I made 15 million from selling my business before I turned 30, and I’ve thought a lot about how to stay the same person I was before I got rich.
Here is my answer: being rich is better than not being rich, let’s not kid ourselves, but it isn’t as good as you imagine. In fact, it’s quite complicated if you try to stay the same person.
It’s true that you no longer have to worry about money the way you used to, and you can even buy things, lots of things, without looking at the price. That’s great. Make no mistake.
But being rich also has some drawbacks.
First of all, it’s as if you’re no longer allowed to complain about anything, ever. You’re rich, so people think you live in a permanent state of nirvana, as if you were now exempt from human needs or frustrations. Yet you’re still a human being, even though most people no longer treat you like one.
And therein lies the second drawback.
Most people now want something from you, and it can be much harder to work out whether someone is being nice to you because they like you or because of your money. If you’re not married, good luck figuring it out: knowing whether a partner is in love with you or with your money becomes a real puzzle.
You have friends and family, and although you try to keep the same relationship with them, it can admittedly get a little harder. Both may start treating you differently. They come, or might come, to ask you for a loan. Bad idea if you give it. If you give money, make it a gift, not a loan.
A common problem is that they no longer appreciate your Christmas presents the way they used to, because they may have unrealistic expectations about the kind of gift you’ll give them and end up disappointed when you don’t live up to them.
All of these things together can leave you with a certain feeling of isolation.
Sometimes you can’t sleep at night, wondering whether you made the right investment decisions with your money, because you know a single investment mistake could make you lose all of it, or a lot of it.
Have you ever gone up a tall building, looked down into the void and had the strange feeling that you might lose your head and jump? Sometimes you get a similar worry about money: the fear that you’ll lose your head and spend it all.
Many of the dreams you had in your previous life now fade away. In other words, the old ‘if I had a lot of money I’d buy a sports car and a luxury penthouse downtown’: now neither the sports car nor the penthouse has the same value for you. You can afford them, and so you lose interest.
Most people have the illusion that if they had more money their life would be better and they’d be happier. Then they get rich and that doesn’t happen, and they can end up in a kind of existential crisis in which some can’t keep their feet on the ground and start doing crazy things. Many people’s lives get slightly worse after they get rich.
If you’re not happy now, you won’t be happy however much money you have.”
My personal view
As I said above, this testimony isn’t new to me; I’ve heard it from quite a few of the “new rich”. There is a huge difference between people who got rich little by little, step by step and with a lot of sweat, and those who hit a quick jackpot, whether in the lottery or by creating a tech company and selling it fast.
(Read: The young man who planned to retire rich at 27)
Various studies that looked at the lives of people who had won a lottery prize showed that a high percentage of them were now much worse off. Many wanted to be rich in order to be happy, but ended up poor and unhappy. Most of them didn’t even manage to hold on to their fortune.
I know of a case very close to home: a young man from Granada who won 15 million euros and managed the hardest feat of all, spending it in just 8 years, until the bank ended up repossessing his house.
Contrary to popular belief, practically no poor person would be prepared to receive a large sum of money; it would be like a curse falling on them, because they wouldn’t be able to handle their new situation.
Further reading
- What to do if you win a lottery jackpot: the steps nobody thinks about
- 12 things millionaires know that you should learn
- The rich don’t want to retire young and rich
- 10 ways the rich think differently
Featured image: Cc2723, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
