Editor’s note: This article was first published in March 2013, and its references to “the economic crisis” are to the crisis Spain was going through at that time.
There are probably more compulsive shoppers, or shopping addicts, than we might imagine, although it would depend on how you measure the degree of addiction. Shopping addiction is no different from other addictions such as alcoholism: plenty of people drink every day without considering themselves alcoholics.
As with any dependency, there are specific signs that should at least put us on alert. In the wake of the economic crisis, a huge number of compulsive shoppers have come to light, people who would never have noticed their addiction if the money had kept coming in. These are the warning signs:
1. You shop when you feel angry, depressed, disappointed or scared
Everyone enjoys buying something, especially if they need it or had been looking forward to buying that particular item. But if we decide to buy something every time we’re in a bad mood, a purchase is changing how we felt before, which means the act of buying could be working like any other drug. If I’m sad because I’ve argued with my partner, buying a shirt shouldn’t make me feel happier, because it doesn’t solve the problem with my partner.
Note: This doesn’t mean that, now and then, it isn’t a good idea to, say, go to the hairdresser so we feel better about how we look in the mirror and give our self-esteem a boost.
2. You hide your purchases from your partner or family
Hiding a purchase from your family because you feel guilty about spending the money, knowing it could cause conflict, could be a clear sign of addiction (like an alcoholic drinking in secret).
Example: if my family is going through financial difficulties and I work on a computer, I would go out and buy a new one if mine broke. I would openly defend that purchase as a necessity, whoever it upset or bothered.
3. You buy things on credit that you wouldn’t buy if you had to pay cash
Spending money you don’t have can lead to huge credit card bills. If, after asking ourselves whether we need the product or whether the purchase could wait, the answer is that we don’t need it and it could wait, but… “I’d really love to buy it, even if it’s on credit”, then it’s time to ask ourselves whether our spending habits have become distorted.
4. You feel guilty, ashamed or confused after shopping
A gambler at the casino tables or the slot machines feels euphoric while he plays, hoping his luck is about to turn. Once he leaves the casino cleaned out, he puts his head in his hands and thinks: “What have I done? I shouldn’t have done that…” He feels guilty for losing the money, ashamed of the way he lost it and confused because he doesn’t know why he did it. Compulsive shoppers don’t have these feelings while their finances are healthy, but the feelings appear once their financial situation takes a turn for the worse.
If you have ever gone without buying something your children needed so you could buy yourself a treat, that is one of the clearest signs of addiction.
5. You don’t use what you buy
If your closet holds unopened shopping bags, dozens of pairs of shoes you’ve never worn or lots of clothes you haven’t used, it means just two things: first, you buy things you don’t need; and second, you go shopping for the sake of shopping. Both are clear signs of a shopping addiction, and one that is hurting your personal finances.
6. Your eating or sleeping habits change
If, as our bank statement shows more and more purchases, we find ourselves eating more or less and sleeping less and less, perhaps even feeling more stressed, it may point to addictive behavior, something that sometimes goes unnoticed even by the addict.
7. You think about money obsessively
Many people think about money obsessively these days, not because of an addiction but because of the financial problems caused by the crisis we are going through. That said, if you keep buying things you don’t need while obsessing over your money problems, the conclusion is obvious. Likewise, an obsession with money and financial problems can make a shopping addiction worse, because the addict will go shopping to feel better.
8. You’ve tried to stop shopping, but you can’t
This is without doubt the clearest symptom of any addiction: trying to stop consuming something and being unable to. All the while, of course, telling ourselves it’s a one-off and that we have it under control.
Note: Let’s not assume this addiction isn’t serious, or that it’s easier to treat just because nobody smokes a pair of shoes or injects a necktie. There have been cases of compulsive shoppers who acknowledged the problem and whose partners thought that taking away their cash and credit cards would gradually cure them. The addiction went so far that, in the less serious cases, some shoplifted in shopping centers and, in the most serious, some even turned to prostitution so they could keep buying things they didn’t need and, of course, hid from their families.
Further reading
