We always hear that we don’t need everyone to like us; that would even be a bad sign. But if you want a future at a particular company, there’s one person who, while they don’t have to adore you, at least shouldn’t dislike you. That person has the power to fire you at any moment. It’s your boss.
That said, your boss not liking you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bad at your job. Someone can dislike you for dozens of reasons, and the fault can be entirely theirs. But we do need to be aware of when our job is in danger, so we can act accordingly or, at some point, clear the air before the situation becomes irreversible.
When we discussed the clearest sign that you should start looking for another job, we said that the most obvious sign your boss doesn’t like you is your own intuition. If you think your boss doesn’t like you, they most likely don’t. Once you have that hunch, if you want to confirm it with other signs, check whether any of the following apply. As you’ll see, most are very obvious, but some people really don’t want to admit they’re happening and aren’t acting accordingly.
Note: Obviously, these signs only count if they apply to you alone. In other words, if your boss is rude, very serious or a jerk, but is like that with everyone, you should ignore these signs and your own intuition.
Signs that your boss isn’t too fond of you
1. A change in how they behave with you
If they used to treat you one way and now treat you differently, clearly something is going on, or has happened, between you. In this case, the best thing is to ask them directly. Remember that companies have some very toxic people, and some of them love gossip, which isn’t always true.
(See: 9 types of toxic people you should avoid like the plague)
2. They leave you out of important decisions
If your boss doesn’t include you in important decisions, it may be because they don’t trust you or your opinion. It doesn’t necessarily mean they dislike you, but they may hold you in very low esteem.
3. They don’t look you in the eye
It’s hard for a boss who doesn’t like you to look you straight in the eye. They may look away or try to avoid you so you don’t pick up on their hostility.
4. They never smile at you
We’re not talking about the occasional bad mood. If your boss makes a conscious effort not to smile when you’re in the same room, something is wrong.
5. They watch everything you do
Although some bosses can’t stop peering over your shoulder out of personal insecurity, it could also be because they don’t trust you. This behavior can come very close to harassment.
6. They avoid you
You may notice that whenever you’re waiting for the elevator, they take the stairs; that they always finish breakfast just as you walk through the cafeteria door; or that they manage their schedule so they never have to run into you.
7. They ignore you
If your boss doesn’t say “good morning” when you arrive or “good night” when you leave, it’s a clear sign they don’t like you.
8. They’re sparing with words
If they answer your questions with a simple “OK” or “fine”, or if their emails never start with a friendly “hi” or “good morning”, it may be a sign they don’t like you.
9. Their body language gives them away
Whether it’s a subtle dirty look, crossed arms, or never lifting their head from the computer screen when you approach, their body language is often truthful.
10. They avoid personal contact
If your boss doesn’t like you, they’ll probably try to limit face-to-face communication with you and prefer to communicate mainly by email or through other people.
11. They’re mobbing you
Mobbing is a very subtle form of harassment designed to wear you down. Basically, your boss wants you to leave but doesn’t want to fire you (companies often save on severance pay this way). If they isolate you at work, ridicule you, or you notice they won’t let you progress in the company, it’s time to get out immediately, or else start playing this game, but knowing the rules.
12. They never agree with you
If every time you express an idea your boss disagrees with everything you say (but doesn’t do the same with others), it’s clearly a sign that they don’t like you or think you’re incompetent. It could also mean that you really never have a good idea.
13. They only talk business with you
If your boss talks to everyone about their kids or hobbies but never includes you in those conversations, they’re probably not interested in your life. This sign could mean they don’t yet feel comfortable enough with you, not necessarily that they dislike you. Check whether other signs apply.
14. They only give you grunt work
If your boss only gives you tasks far below your level of experience, it’s a sign they don’t respect your skills, or that they’re trying to bore you into leaving the company.
15. There’s no feedback between you
A boss who wants to help you grow professionally will give you feedback, good and bad. If there’s no feedback between you, it’s because they don’t care at all about your future.
16. They embarrass you
Openly criticizing employees’ efforts or ideas in a meeting is hugely disrespectful. If your boss embarrasses you in public, they most likely don’t like you. But if they do it to everyone, they’re simply rude and haven’t yet understood that leadership means “praise in public, criticize in private”.
17. They’re cold toward you
Being part of office banter and jokes is a sign that you belong to the team. If your boss leaves you out of that kind of thing, it’s a sign they don’t like you.
18. They give the important projects to other employees
It’s always discouraging when an important project comes along and is assigned to colleagues who have even less experience than you. If you notice this happening often, it’s a bad sign.
See also: 9 skills of exceptional employees
Featured image: Rijksdienst voor het Cultureel Erfgoed, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
