Editor’s note: This article was first published in June 2013; the claim that going to university is an obligation in today’s job market and the joke about seeing the world through Google Street View reflect that time.
We make hundreds of decisions every day, but probably only 3 important decisions will shape our lives in every possible respect, from our finances to our happiness. They are decisions we should analyse thoroughly, but the main problem is that when we make them we are not aware of how important they are, even though we have been warned.
Bearing in mind that life is a series of choices, in which we will sometimes get it wrong and sometimes get it right, let’s try (difficult as it is) not to get these ones wrong.
1. Marriage: the person you marry
We live in difficult times as far as eternal love is concerned, because the statistics are pretty unfavourable. The probability that you will get divorced is extremely high, and a separate-property arrangement will not protect you from losing 50% of everything you build.
With that person you will have children (your own flesh and blood), children who, when the time comes to divorce, will make you look like a prisoner who gets visits twice a week. I know many companies that started to falter because of their owner’s marriage problems, not because of what the owner felt for the ex-partner, but because he was stripped of many things, including his children.
Just as we advise you to take 100 breaths before answering when you are worked up, it is advisable to take 300,000 breaths before making a decision about marriage while “in love”. You are going to make an investment in a very volatile and statistically screwed market, so make sure you choose the right stock, and be very patient, because, as Guy Kawasaki said, he knows many people who regret marrying too soon, but nobody who regrets marrying too late.
It may sound cold, and you may never have thought about it, but a man, at least in Spain, feels like a sperm bank and a cash machine the moment he gets divorced.
2. Choosing what you will dedicate yourself to
Unfortunately, we have to make this decision even before we are able to make it intelligently. As a rule, by the age of 17 we are expected to know whether we want to go to university and what degree to study, or whether it would make more sense to specialise in something through a vocational course instead of a degree. Maybe our thing is to start our own business at a very young age and learn what we need along the way. Few people know what they want to be at 17. In fact, many discover what they like (their vocation) at 40. That’s why Richard Branson advised travelling the world before enrolling at a university (although, the way the world is these days, you’d better see it through Google Street View).
The thing is, some degrees are difficult and take many years, and they also require specialisation or should even be complemented with a master’s if we want to have a career afterwards. By the time you finish your degree, some of your high-school classmates will probably already have got rich.
Studying for 6 years and never working in what you studied must be a very unpleasant feeling. That said, although I start from the premise that university will not teach you what you are going to need, the truth is that you will need a degree. In other words, going to university in today’s job market is an obligation.
Someone once told me: “Be an entrepreneur. It doesn’t matter what you study or where you work. It doesn’t matter whether you work as a waiter or as a manager. Knowing that you are an entrepreneur, if you ever lose your job, it won’t be a burden but a liberation, so you can do what you love.” It may sound too spiritual, but with all the twists and turns life takes, I ended up understanding what this person meant.
Never get complacent. Ask yourself whether what you are doing is what you really want to do.
(Read: The best advice ever given to college students)
3. Choosing your attitude to life
Some people find this hard to understand, but we can choose to be happy or unhappy. Happiness is simply a state of mind. If you choose a positive philosophy of life, your days will be better.
Personally, I chose to be happy. I have been through good times and terrible times, I have broken bones, I have had my heart broken, I have lost loved ones, I have had money problems, I have suffered injustices, but my sense of humour has always been there.
Some people have good days and bad days. I chose for my days to be good, so I don’t force people to analyse me to work out what mood I’ll be in today.
I chose to live looking forward. It’s the only way to move ahead. Some people always have the same song playing: “If only I had… 10 years ago”…
While it’s true that you may fall, it’s also true that you choose whether you want to get back up. This is not a cheap motivational speech: I understand that people can go through bad situations that sometimes corner you and seem to have no way out, but the situation is not going to change by losing your sense of humour or your smile. Quite the opposite: it may get worse. (Read: 26 lessons to prepare your child for the real world)
And these are the 3 most important decisions that I believe a person has to make in life.
Further reading
- 6 secrets of life you can learn from the people who have lived longest
- The secret of happiness found in a 75-year study
Featured image: Finger signpost at fork in road at Hardcake Hall by Roger Templeman, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
