When you meet a group of people, as a general rule, consciously or unconsciously, we divide them into two types: those who are interesting and those who aren’t. We could then make various sub-groups, but we’ll leave that for another time.
The thing is, we all want to be interesting, or at least seem to be, so that everyone likes us. If you feel you’re not interesting enough, don’t worry. We all have the potential to become more interesting. It’s a matter of picking up new skills, knowledge and experiences to learn from and share with others.
Here are some ways to become a more interesting person, based on the advice of Quora users answering the question “How do I become a more interesting person?“
1. Learn to tell good stories
Interesting people always seem to lead interesting lives. Maybe you’ve accumulated plenty of information and experiences, but if you can’t communicate them to other people, your aim of seeming more interesting is sunk.
That’s why Marcus Geduld says you need to learn to be a good storyteller. In his view, you don’t just pour what’s on your mind into a conversation: you shape it so that it’s interesting, and you start to think of your life as a gift you can give to others, one you should wrap in the best paper you can find.
2. Listen and show understanding
Most experts in this field point out that one way to seem interesting is to show interest in others.
Quentin Hardy notes that listening carefully to others, and treating them with a little understanding so as to grasp their motives and actions, is something few of us are good at.
Understanding a person’s motivations and desires, and responding to them, is one of the most powerful weapons you have to win people over and come across as interesting.
But beware: These are 7 reasons you may be attracting toxic people
3. Ask good questions
At a party, you don’t need to say much about yourself for people to think you’re interesting. Instead, you should draw them into a deep conversation about their lifestyles.
Stephanie Vardavas recommends asking intelligent questions, as needed, about them, their interests and their priorities; really listening to the answers; following up with more thoughtful analysis; and asking again whatever is needed. By the end of the evening, she says, they’ll remember you as one of the most interesting people they’ve met.
4. Read a lot
If you have enough time and money to travel the world, great. But if you don’t, you can still learn about different cultures and historical periods by reading everything you can get your hands on. Books, blogs, magazines… you need to expose yourself to as many new stories and ideas as possible.
As Chaitra Murlidhar puts it, reading widely opens up many new worlds for us.
5. Meet new people
Expand your social circle by starting conversations with other people. You never know when a stranger might become your best friend, propose a profitable business to you or become a key person in your career. Give others the chance to show who they are, and welcome them into your life.
For Travis Biziorek, it’s the challenge of meeting new people, spending time with a different group and the experience of being with people who have different perspectives and views on life that makes the encounter fascinating.
6. Be curious
One way to make sure you’re not an interesting person is to close yourself off to different opinions and points of view. Instead, you should actively look for new ideas and experiences that will change the way you think and feel.
Sudhir Desai advocates being a “lifelong learner”: keep an open mind, be curious, and learn things that deepen and broaden your perspectives.
7. Develop new skills
One way to make sure other people find you interesting is to make yourself useful in any situation. That’s why Anthony N. Lee suggests learning as many useful skills as you can, skills that someone might need at some point.
It’s an excellent way to be able to help others. And people who are able to help with something become interesting by default.
8. Say what you think
Kat Li says that people who have no opinion on anything, or who never disagree with anything, can be boring.
You feel as if you can’t really have a conversation with them, she explains, so you should try to say what you really think about things, even if other people don’t like it.
That way you show authenticity, and given that we live in a world where a large share of people are fake and hypocritical, being authentic makes you interesting all by itself.
See also: 11 secrets of irresistible people
Featured image: Harrison Keely, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
