There’s one short word that most people use all the time without realising that they’re sabotaging their own success. This word ruins opportunities, is an excuse in itself, and puts you at the back of the queue.
The word is “but”, and you’re about to see how misusing it takes you where you don’t want to be.
Once again we’re dealing with our belief system and our intrapersonal communication, which happen to be two of the most important things for getting ahead in life.
How the word “but” sabotages your success
Remember that time someone asked you to do something, or you thought about starting something, and you told yourself: “I’d love to, BUT I don’t have time”, or “I’d love to, BUT I don’t have any experience in that”.
The word BUT has the power to cancel out whatever came before it. In fact, even when we give praise along with criticism, adding a BUT cancels the praise. “You’re a great professional, BUT we’ve noticed that…” That BUT wipes out everything.
We’ve all used that BUT out of fear or lack of confidence. When we face challenges or feel the urge to get ahead, we use BUT to remind ourselves of our limitations.
“I’d like to start my own business, BUT I don’t have any money.”
“I’d like to go up to that girl and talk to her, BUT I don’t think she’ll like me.”
Oprah Winfrey was abused by relatives and ran away from home. She became pregnant at 14, and her baby died. Oprah’s life was not easy. In fact, every time she began to imagine a better life, she could have inserted the word BUT to excuse herself with her tragic past. But Oprah decided to leave the BUTs to others. She decided to insert a YET into every one of her thoughts, even every time she was turned down for not meeting the beauty standards television demanded. The rest of her story needs no explanation.
There are many ways to knock down a BUT. In David Novak’s case, as we explained, he did it by swapping those BUTs and NOs for “not yet”.
In other words, changing “I’d like to do this, but I don’t have the experience” to “I’m going to do this. I don’t have the experience yet”. With that “yet” we send our brain a powerful message that carries an implicit meaning: not yet, but it’s coming.
Swapping “but” for “however”
US President Franklin D. Roosevelt was left disabled by polio. He could easily have used that BUT to rule himself out as a candidate for the presidency of the United States. Instead, he thought: “However, I’m still an excellent leader with great ideas.” He went on to become one of the three most popular presidents in US history.
I know many people think this stuff is nonsense, but nothing could be further from the truth. Self-confidence comes from within, so intrapersonal communication (what you tell yourself) is one of the most important tools you’ll have for achieving anything, because you won’t achieve anything if you lack confidence in your abilities and skills.
So every time you doubt yourself, change that inner voice: swap the words that make excuses for words that tell you you’re on your way.
See also: 10 things to stop doing to improve your life
Featured image: Unknown author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
