We have written countless articles focusing on people in their 20s, always stressing that if most young people only knew how easy it is to set their lives on the right track at this age… All they need to do is listen to the advice of those who made it successfully into their 30s, and of those who made plenty of mistakes and now point them out so that you can avoid them.
So once again we turn to the collective wisdom of Quora users, and summarise what they consider the worst mistakes young people make in their 20s, adding a few of our own based on personal experience. I also recommend reading other similar articles we have published on the subject:
- 10 pieces of life advice you will be grateful for once you turn 30
- 21 things young people and university students should know in their 20s
- Lessons university students need to learn in their 20s
Let’s take advantage of the experience and wisdom of people who have already been through the transition you are about to make.
1. They think education and talent are enough to succeed.
That’s not true: there are far more talented people with degrees who have failed than people without talent who have succeeded. So having a university degree or natural talent guarantees you nothing, especially if you don’t know how to make money from that talent, if you can’t find someone who complements that skill, or someone who recognises your talent.
Social skills matter more than all of that, and they should not be underestimated, because most good jobs are never posted on job boards. They are opportunities that come from our own circle. That is why it is vital to have as wide a circle of acquaintances as possible.
In the end, you have nothing until you can show someone what you are able to do with what you have. Remember that there is a big difference between having a law degree and being a lawyer. Sometimes a law degree on its own only opens the door to a job at a burger joint.
2. Wasted time.
One thing you can never get back is the time you have wasted. By the age of 35 you end up regretting much of that time, which might as well have been thrown in the rubbish bin. And time is very valuable. In fact, time is the only thing we have in life. If time goes, we have nothing. So it is something you should never waste.
See also: 12 reasons you didn’t get the job that nobody will tell you
3. Not starting to save money.
At the risk of repeating ourselves on this point, the difference between starting to save at this age and doing it later is huge for the future of your finances. In fact, much of the wealth of today’s billionaires comes from money saved early. Your 20s are for enjoying yourself, but they are also for saving and for making the most of the vitality and energy you won’t have later. And as we have said many times, it is the ideal age to start investing and taking risks.
The thing is, most 20-year-olds see no need to save and invest, and think money is just something to spend. At 30 to 35 they regret all the money they spent instead of investing it. Personally, I regret a lot of crazy things and big spending between my 20s and my 30s.
4. They equate happiness with money.
Equating happiness with money is what leads many young people to get used to a pay cheque from a crappy company for a crappy job. There is nothing wrong with doing jobs we don’t like when we are young, but getting used to it and getting stuck in a company just to collect a salary at the end of the month instead of shaping your dreams is something anyone comes to regret over time. “What I could have done and didn’t.”
(Read: Why you should stop chasing happiness)
5. Neglecting their health.
Hangovers do more damage to your health than you can imagine; they also encourage alcoholism and distort the meaning of having fun. Since I have never been one to sugar-coat things, I’ll say it bluntly: “whether you are 20 or 30, if you have to drink to have fun, you’re an idiot.”
A poor diet, tobacco, drugs and lack of exercise cause progressive wear and tear on the body that we don’t notice until the day we do. As someone once said: “treat your body as if you were going to need it forever.”
6. Giving up when things get tough.
A failed relationship or being fired makes many young people fall apart. At 20, very few know that their first great love is not the final one, or that being fired from a dead-end job is sometimes a liberation and an excellent opportunity to move forward in life.
As for finding the love of your life (a big worry for young people at this age), I’ll just tell you that, as with happiness, don’t overthink it: it will come or it won’t, it will leave or it will stay. Sometimes you will be the one who ends it. I have found the love of my life about 8 or 10 times. If I had fallen apart every time it didn’t work out, I don’t suppose I would ever have got back on my feet. They say it’s all about finding your other half. Well, in Spanish the “other half” is your “half orange”, and I have enjoyed making plenty of orange juice.
But never give up on future projects because earlier ones didn’t work out. Drawing on these two motivational speeches, remember that life is a playing field. And on the playing field you have to fight and never give up. That is the only way to win: when you have given your best before the final whistle blows.
7. The myth of time.
Many people think that at 20 it is still early and that they will have time to do lots of things later, so they drop their aspirations thinking they can pick them up again afterwards. The thing is, when we are in a hurry to achieve something, time flies. And at some point you are 33 when not long ago you were 26. And you are no longer young. At that point you are racing against the clock to reach your ambitious goals before 40, and you may feel it is too late to change careers or take a huge risk. Although it is never really too late to do most things, it is certainly easier to do them earlier.
8. The things you would have liked to do and didn’t.
It is no myth that people regret the things they didn’t do far more than the things they did. For example, when it comes to love, a person can spend their whole life regretting not having made a move to kiss a girl. They will spend the rest of their life wondering… “what if…?”
On the other hand, someone who took the plunge and was rejected may regret it in the short term, but in the long term they are not left with that doubt, so over time that rejection has given them peace of mind.
See also: The traits you absolutely need to succeed in business
9. Trying to get everyone to like you.
When you first join the working world, it can be normal to want to be liked by that jerk of a coworker, by a bad boss and by people who don’t like you. With age you learn that you can’t be liked by everyone. In fact, it would be a very bad sign. And the worst thing you can do is spend your energy trying to get along with people who don’t like you. It ends up being stressful.
10. Thinking every friendship will last forever.
You may think you will keep all your friends, but the truth is that later on people’s paths go in very different directions. In fact, many of your friends will take the wrong path, others will only bring you trouble, and some will simply live their own lives. You will also have to learn to recognise when it is time to cut out of your life a friend who is no longer the person they were.
In fact, sometimes we miss the chance to meet very interesting people because we hold on to those old and sometimes damaged friendships.
11. Keeping a closed mind.
You should get to know yourself as soon as possible: know what you think and what kind of “thing” has led you to think that way. The sooner you realise that some of your beliefs are false and unfounded, the sooner you will free your mind.
Learn all kinds of skills and new concepts that make you better prepared for everything in general.
12. Falling in love with someone who isn’t in love with you.
I suppose it has happened to all of us at some point. And over time you discover what a fool you were for falling for someone who didn’t even look at you. In fact, you discover that it isn’t love but infatuation, because it is impossible to fall in love with someone who shows you no sign of affection or warmth. It would be like falling in love with a wall. Getting into this situation is the surest way into foreseeable misery and imminent unhappiness.
Clearly, your love life can affect every other area of your life.
Further reading
- Young and hungry for success? Follow these 3 words
- 10 toxic behaviours that are ruining your life
- 16 things you should know about life, success and happiness
- 34 money lessons young people and adults should learn
Featured image: Thomas Cummins, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Flickr.
