Some time ago we published an article featuring the testimony of Bronnie Ware, a nurse who worked in a palliative care unit and became an expert in the regrets people have on their deathbed.
I recommend that article: “5 things you may regret on your deathbed that you can fix today“. And now, following the old Spanish saying “if you want to know more, buy yourself an old man”, let’s see what advice more than 1,500 elderly people aged between 70 and 100 would give us, taken from the book 30 Lessons for Living.
6 secrets of life from people who have lived a long time
1. Remember that life is short. Don’t waste it
When asked “What are the most important lessons you have learned over the course of your life?”, the respondents, who came from all walks of life (homemakers, business owners, architects, waiters…), talked about different topics such as marriage, children and money. But… every single one of them agreed on one phrase: “life is very short”.
Even if young people find it hard to believe, one day you’ll wake up and be 70. Some days, alone, we will inevitably look back on everything we’ve done in life, and the only consolation that helps us accept old age is knowing that you didn’t waste your time.
2. When it comes to your career, do what you love
They were emphatic on this point. Money will be a major worry throughout your life. You may end up working for money at things you don’t enjoy, and not doing the things you love for fear of failing.
See also: How I built a six-figure business from one small skill: Julia Kelly and her caricatures
Hold on to this phrase: “It’s better to fail doing something you love than to succeed at something you don’t.” Remember point number one: “Life is short, don’t waste it”, least of all on fear. (Read: How to know what to do with your life: finding the perfect job for you.)
3. Live a healthy life. Treat your body as if you’ll need it for 100 years
The usual advice was very much present (take calcium, eat lots of vegetables, don’t drink, don’t smoke, exercise), but many of them insisted that, thanks to new technologies, we may live longer even with bad habits, yet we will lose quality of life.
Many of them have been living with a chronic illness for 20 or 30 years that they might have been able to avoid (might). And they remind us that, believe it or not, very healthy habits can delay the day we need the “little blue pill”, because, they tell us, at 50, 60 and 80 an active sex life is also important and healthy for coping better with old age.
4. The biggest regrets
The biggest regret of most respondents was precisely having worried needlessly throughout their lives. Living worried about everything stops us from living properly. When it isn’t money, it’s family quarrels, and when there are no problems, you invent them. Avoid that at all costs.
5. Be happy in spite of hard times
Following closely from point 4, they explain that unavoidable problems will crop up in life: illness, economic crises, business failures. These things shouldn’t stop you from being happy.
As someone once said: “If it isn’t in your hands to change a circumstance that causes you pain, it is in your hands to choose the attitude with which you face it.”
6. The secret of happiness?
Only when you reach 80 will you realise how happy you could have been, because the problems that come up in life grow in intensity at each age. When you’re 6, your problem might be that nobody takes you to the circus.
At 15, your problem might be that the girl you like doesn’t pay you much attention.
At 20 it’s your studies, and from 25 onwards, the problem you live with will probably be money, all the way until you retire. In the end, you find happiness in the people you love, who have loved you and who stay by your side.
As Warren Buffett says, in the end success is measured only by how many of the people you wanted to love you truly do love you.
Further reading
- 26 lessons to prepare your child for the real world
- 4 people who overcame their limitations
- 23 motivational quotes
Featured image: Ding Kezhong, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
