In a previous article we published 10 life lessons that, as a rule, we learn too late in life. Continuing along the same lines, here are ten more:
11. The power of words
Words have a power we are rarely aware of. Not only the words we say to other people, but also the words we say to ourselves.
We should think before we speak and choose our words carefully. Our words can make someone’s day, and they can also do irreparable harm.
(See: 9 simple, extraordinary things to say to people every day)
Likewise, the words we say to ourselves can change how we see our own abilities, for better or for worse. Saying “if I pass the exam, we’ll go on holiday” is not the same as saying “when I pass the exam, we’ll go on holiday”. Telling ourselves “I’ll try” is not the same as saying “I’ll do it”.
I know some people will think this is nonsense, but neuroscience studies have amply shown that people who change the words they say to themselves tend to be more capable than those whose words “waver” in their brain. Perhaps that is why neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) has become more prominent today.
12. How you treat others
Obviously, the ideal is to treat people the way we want to be treated. But there are a few details we shouldn’t forget. If you don’t like someone, that’s no reason to be rude or less polite to them.
If you know someone has it in for you, greet them with a great smile. Invite your enemies to lunch and show them your best side.
And if someone is spiteful, show them kindness. Don’t worry, I’m not into the “Zen thing”: I’m the kind of person who, if a fly bothers me, will swat it if I get the chance. Of course, all of this is strategy. Envious and spiteful people tend not to be very smart. Your happiness will be their pain, and their confusion will leave them wrong-footed.
There’s a saying that goes “What Peter says about Paul tells you more about Peter than about Paul”, so when you have enemies, keep them close and treat them well. Sooner rather than later, those watching will see who they are and who you are.
13. Pursue your dreams relentlessly
Some say good things come to those who wait, but the truth is that good things don’t come on their own. Nobody stumbled upon greatness by chance. So unless you expect to inherit an empire, you’ll have to start building one. You’ll have to make sacrifices and get ready to face challenges, get ready for the possibility of failing, and find strength out of nowhere to keep moving forward. Whether things go well or badly, make sure you’ve given it everything you’ve got.
14. Don’t trust the wrong people
Some people add to your life, your career, your success. Others only subtract from your life and drain your energy. Aligning yourself with the wrong groups of people can land you in a deep hole. You can repair the damage later, but you’ll already have lost the time. On the other hand, aligning yourself with the right people can help you take a giant leap.
Remember that nobody succeeds in life on their own, and failure is often down to the people we surround ourselves with. How do you know whether a group of people is doing you more harm than good? If you’re honest with yourself, you simply know. Full stop.
(See: The importance of the people you surround yourself with, as it has never been explained to you)
15. Trust yourself
It’s common to hear people who have reached a certain age regret not having trusted themselves more, which is why they didn’t do many things. Now they regret not having taken the steps.
As a rule, a person is worth more than they think they are. You may not have all the knowledge you need to do something, but you have the ability to acquire it. You may not know how to do something, but by doing it, you’ll learn.
Keep this quote from Richard Branson in mind: “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”
Stop being afraid. As we said in our previous article, brave people are afraid just like everyone else, but they are brave because they do what they have to do in spite of their fears.
(See: How to be more self-confident when you have no confidence in yourself)
16. Simple things work better
For some reason, human beings like to complicate things when they could do them more simply.
Do you miss someone? Call them.
Do you like someone? Tell them, plainly and directly. I’ve seen plenty of people go round and round looking for strategies, waiting for the right moment, but this really is simple. If you like someone, you say “I like you”, and that’s that. Two things can happen:
- That person is delighted, and a wonderful love story begins.
- You get turned down, so you stop wasting time and can go and find someone else with whom that wonderful love story can begin.
The truth is that most people put off speaking plainly out of fear of rejection, which often creates an insecurity that brings about the self-fulfilling prophecy: rejection.
Do you want to do something? Do it. Now. Not tomorrow. Take the first step today.
17. Worrying is a waste of energy
People tend to spend more time worrying about something than working on the problem in question. Often these aren’t even worries but invented ghosts. Did you know there are people who have had business ideas and never carried them out because the idea was so good that someone would soon copy it and push them out of the market? At least, that’s their version.
What happens in situations like these is that, on top of analysis paralysis, there is an excess of absurd worries.
Over time you’ll discover that many of your current worries took up wonderful energy that could have been used for something more productive.
18. You are the CEO of your life
If we’re honest with ourselves, where we are right now is, to a large extent, the result of our own decisions. It’s tempting to blame our parents, our surroundings, politicians or our town, but blaming others rarely changes anything. Taking responsibility for the choices that are in our hands does.
A lack of knowledge doesn’t have to hold you back, since knowledge can be acquired. If you’re stuck in a job you dislike from morning till night, it may be worth asking yourself whether it’s time to take a risk and look for something else.
The same goes for your habits and your spending: how you use your time, how you look after yourself and what you spend your money on are, for the most part, decisions that are yours to make.
You can change course at any moment. You are the one responsible for your own decisions. So act, and you won’t regret it 30 years from now.
19. Things worth having take time and effort
Here we hear stories of people who one day quit their job, started their company and today have hundreds of millions in the bank. It looks easy, but it’s hard to put into writing everything we don’t get to see.
What we probably don’t see is that for a long time that entrepreneur lost whole nights of sleep and said no to lots of friends because they had to get up early the next day. They didn’t take a holiday for two years.
People probably even told them they were crazy to embark on such an adventure. Today they are reaping the rewards of a period of effort that very few are willing to make.
“It could have gone wrong for them,” some will say, but it could also have gone right. And in fact, it did.
20. Moods are contagious
If you surround yourself with negative people, sooner or later they’ll infect you with their bitterness. Nobody is equipped to keep carrying the weight of other people’s constant problems. Try to surround yourself with positive people who want to enjoy life, to live, to do things. Choose people who are passionate about life, optimists who believe almost anything is possible.
Avoid the constant bombardment of negative news: wars, accidents, political clashes, crises and so on. Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, the truth is that it drains your mood.
It’s a fact that optimistic people tend to get ill less often and are less prone to depression. And your optimism or pessimism depends, to some extent, on the circle of people you move in.
See also: Stuck and not sure what to do next? This story is for you
Featured image: Photograph by Rama , Wikimedia Commons, Cc-by-sa-2.0-fr, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
