I have always thought that believing we were born destined for something is dangerous, to say the least. Even so, it’s true that many of us were born destined to have to work a little harder than everyone else.
Let’s be realistic: if someone is born into a wealthy family that owns hundreds of companies, that person will have a much easier time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create a hundred companies yourself. You will, however, have to work much harder than the person who already has them. By the same token, someone who was handed everything without effort runs the risk of losing it all.
Those of us who were born less fortunate have no choice but to make our own luck, and the only way to do that is by making our own choices. And yes, we’ll get some of those choices wrong, but only those who make decisions fail, and that will toughen us up for life and give us some very necessary lessons.
Someone once told me that people who have to start from zero are very lucky, because the pleasure of climbing each rung through your own effort is something those who are already at the top can never feel. At the same time, it makes us stronger, smarter and better prepared than competitors who never built up that toughness because they didn’t have to climb those rungs.
1. Success isn’t that hard, but doing nothing is easier
Jim Rohn never tired of saying that, for him, succeeding was extremely easy, but he noticed that for other people it was far more comfortable to do nothing. Nobody is going to hand you anything in this life. If you want something, you have to go out and look for it and have the guts to take it.
“Success is not something we find; it’s something we attract as a result of the person we become.”
You don’t like where you live, your job, your city…? Then change all that, because, as Rohn used to say, you’re not a tree: you’re not planted in one patch of ground for the rest of your life.
2. Find the right kind of learning
Books give you the learning you need to pass exams. The problem is that you don’t learn very much from them, at least not what we really need. But then we have the chance to choose the people we want to learn from. If you want to learn about investing, make friends with an investor; if you want to learn about business, make friends with a business owner. I’ve learned more from some people in a couple of hours than in 12-month courses. (Read: The 3 most important decisions you will make in life)
3. Revert to a feeling of inferiority in order to learn
Robert Greene, in his book Mastery, argues that mastery is reached when we become very humble people, willing to learn from everyone. People who think they are better than everyone else tend to fail very quickly, because they’re missing the chance to learn.
4. Practice intensely and move toward resistance and pain
Bill Bradley wanted to be a basketball player even though he knew nothing about basketball, was slow and could barely jump. Still, that’s what he wanted to do, while everyone, including his parents and coaches, told him to give it up because it wasn’t for him. Today his name is in the Hall of Fame. After school he trained for three hours every day, and he strapped weights to his ankles to build strength in his legs. He didn’t have the same natural gifts as other basketball players, but you have the last word. Nobody should tell you what you can or can’t do. (Read: 4 people who overcame their limitations)
5. Choose a mentor
Although the mentor-protégé relationship isn’t very common in Spain, it’s the fastest way to learn. In the United States there’s a saying for employees: “Don’t choose a company, choose a boss.” If you get the chance to soak up someone’s wisdom or experience, become a sponge by their side.
6. Choose your heroes carefully
Warren Buffett used to say that you’ll turn out like the heroes or people you admire. Once you’ve identified who you want to be like, get inside their life and their tastes. If you have to eat what they eat to understand them better, do it. Why do they think the way they do? Who were their idols? What books did they read? Try to copy that person’s path; only then will you improve your chances of achieving what they achieved. Be careful which steps you copy in life, because everything suggests that your life will match the level and quality of the steps you copy.
7. Small building blocks raise great walls
Since most people fail because their goals are too ambitious and too short-term, stick with this philosophy: “Don’t set yourself the goal of building an enormous wall. Set yourself the goal of laying one brick every day.” (Highly recommended: The key to success with the Seinfeld strategy.) Remember that consistency is very powerful: consistency is what will bring down any wall.
8. Don’t waste time
If you work out quickly what you want to do, don’t waste time: start doing it as soon as possible and drop every kind of excuse. “Those who want to reach a goal look for ways. Those who don’t, look for excuses.” You’ll succeed or you’ll fail, but you need to know the result as soon as possible, because only then can you try again with plenty of time to spare. (Read: Meg Jay on why your twenties matter.)
9. Stick close to professionals whose flaw is a lack of diplomacy
Today I believe my character and my resilience in the face of problems are well above average, and I owe that to some bosses I had in the past who didn’t want just another professional; they wanted the best. Don’t look for people who console you when you have problems; look for people who call you an idiot for not finding a solution to those problems. Believe me, if you look for kind people who feel sorry for you, you’re lost, because life can be very hard and it won’t feel sorry for you. Kind words in difficult situations are fine. Harsh words may hit you like a bucket of cold water, but in time you’ll be grateful for that bucket of cold water. Just don’t confuse constructive bluntness with bad manners and destructive criticism.
See also: Life is a table: which side of the table do you want to be on?
10. Build your character as early as you can
More than once I’ve talked about the lines we should draw in our lives. On one side there’s a big red line that we must never cross; on the other, we should draw another line so that, the moment someone crosses it, we break off any kind of relationship with them. And never make exceptions, because exceptions tend to become habits. Three things should guide your life: your honor, your word and your principles. If you’re a person of integrity, sooner or later people realize what kind of person you are, and doors open for you that stay closed for others.
11. Be impatient to start but patient to see results
Impatience and patience are both great virtues, but they also become two great flaws if we switch them around. If you have a project in mind, be impatient to get started, but don’t let impatience drive you to despair if you don’t see quick results.
12. Practice matters far more than innate ability
An innate skill or talent that isn’t worked on or developed is really nothing. Any talent can be outdone by someone else through thousands of hours of practice. Remember: we are what we repeatedly do. (Read: 5 keys to excelling at whatever you set out to do.)
And remember: never give up
The one thing successful people have in common is that they never give up. The sooner you accept that problems, obstacles and people who try to knock you down will appear in your life, the better. Choose to be strong enough to face all of that, because, believe me, you can choose to be strong.
So it’s true that we are born destined for something: our destiny is to work every day to build our own destiny. Like it or not, at the end of the road there aren’t lucky people and unlucky people. There are people who did something that others didn’t do, or didn’t do in the same way, and so the result was different.
Further reading
Featured image: Miscellaneous Items in High Demand, PPOC, Library of Congress, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
