There are probably no universal rules of life, but over time I keep collecting lessons and rules which, from my own experience or other people’s, we could almost, almost turn into universal ones. Here are 17 rules of life that you may or may not agree with, but the truth is that people who have succeeded have, we could say, applied them.
Meanwhile, in most cases, the thing people who have failed tend to have in common is that they ignored some of these rules or hard truths.
Rules of life
1. When you want to do something, do it
For various reasons, it is always a better idea not to announce your plans. Don’t tell anyone what you are going to do. That way, people will see the result, not your plans.
2. Life without money tends to be harder
It is true that money alone does not bring happiness and that there are many things money can’t buy, but a lack of this “material” creates plenty of problems, both for those who believe in it and for those who don’t. If we define success by paraphrasing Tony Robbins, success would be “doing what you want, when you want, with whom you want, as often as you want.”
And for that you don’t need to be rich, but you do need financial freedom. If you want to spend more, earn more money. Since we start from the fact that work will take up most of your life, find a way to make your work meaningful and give you something more than money. Remember that the bad thing about money is that it sometimes forces you to do things you don’t want to do.
3. Look after your family ties
There are, it’s true, some exceptions where the advice would be the exact opposite (“send your family packing”), but in most cases, as time goes by, we come to understand that family ties are the most important thing we will ever have. They are probably the only people who will be there for us unconditionally until we die. Keep your family happy: father, mother, brothers and sisters, children… it is probably the most important circle we will have in life.
4. Stay happy
Being happy is a choice we make in life. With our good times and bad, we can choose happiness and a friendly, cheerful character. If we make that choice, it rubs off on the people around us. What we project to others and to our surroundings is what we get back. And this is not cosmic energy, it’s neuroscience.
5. Lend an ear to disinterested advice
We can’t always follow the advice other people give us, but it is a good idea to listen to it and take it into account, even if in the end the choice is yours. Sometimes advice from people outside your situation is more valuable, because they have no biases and are not involved. If advice comes from someone with more experience and more of life behind them than you, always take it into account, because it can save you from making many mistakes.
6. Live in the present
Most of the worries we have in life have nothing to do with what is happening to us today, but with things that happened yesterday or things that might happen tomorrow. Past and future are two times in which we can do nothing, and both can cause us stress and/or anxiety. All that is in your hands is doing what you can do today. If you focus solely on “today”, you can change tomorrow for the better.
7. Be grateful for what you have, but keep moving forward
Don’t compare yourself with others. There will always be someone who has more than you. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, either. Be thankful for what you have, little or much, and use it as a starting point to keep improving.
8. Don’t expect anything from anyone
Disappointment comes when we have expectations that are not met. The only person who can help you achieve things in life is you. Of course, along the way people will appear who help you and open doors for you, but don’t start from the premise that people ought to help you, because you will very probably end up frustrated and disappointed, even with the people you least expect.
9. Stay healthy
Stay healthy, both physically and emotionally. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you are. If you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror, insecurities start. If illness comes into your life, it turns a little greyer. If addictions control your life, you are not its master, and so everything starts going worse.
10. Learn to say NO
One of the most valuable things a person can have is the ability to say NO. NO to what I am not willing to put up with, NO to people who waste my time and pull me off the right path, NO to what I don’t feel like doing. When we acquire the skill of saying NO to all the many things that deserve a NO, we can focus on the few things that deserve a YES. Remember that everything in your life that doesn’t add, subtracts.
11. Get rid of the negativity around you
If someone has a problem and we can help them, it goes without saying that our task should be to do whatever is in our power to help. That said, we can’t turn into psychologists who listen to each and every one of people’s problems, because nobody in the world is strong enough not to be affected emotionally by that. As far as possible, try not to talk about negative things, and don’t let others do so by default. Your quality of life will improve.
12. Talk less
The usual advice is never to dominate more than 33% of a conversation. Talking on and on without stopping often wears other people out. If you have ever noticed that you haven’t stopped talking for minutes and everyone else has gone very quiet, it is quite likely that they are not listening intently; you may have bored them, and they are too polite to tell you “enough already, you’re wearing me out”.
13. Be honest
As Warren Buffett says, “Honesty is a very expensive gift; don’t expect it from cheap people.” At the end of the day, or of the week, it doesn’t matter what you have, how much you earn or what you do. If you are not a person of integrity and values, you are losing at life.
14. Set goals
Setting goals in life is the best way to make sure you are on the right path. That way you know that if your actions are not bringing you closer to that goal, they are taking you further from it, and those actions need to change.
15. Don’t break promises
It is better to have a reputation for never making promises or commitments to other people than to make a promise and not keep it. The moment you promise someone something, you should give your all to keep that promise, as if it were the most important thing you had to do in your life. Breaking promises is the surest way to make sure nobody trusts you.
16. Always do everything in three stages
Prepare: draw up a plan.
Execute: if you don’t take action on the plan, you won’t have done anything.
Finish: what you start, you finish. Whether it succeeds or fails, don’t leave it half done.
17. Love as if you had never been hurt
Probably the most important rule, and not only in love. Love as if you had never been hurt, and start a new idea with enthusiasm as if you had never failed. Let’s not let our past define us.
If you start a relationship today on the premise that your previous ones hurt you badly, you will go into the new one with the brakes on and you will bring about a bad outcome (again).
The same goes for business. If you started a business idea and it didn’t work out, don’t give up on your entrepreneurial path: come back with another idea. Take the lessons you learned from your previous failure, but go all in as if you had never failed, as if you had no fear.
See also: 11 rules of life to make things go much better for you
Featured image: Thomas Cole, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
