Although we often meet clients informally, there are some business meals (dinners above all) where an essential part of the business is at stake, and sometimes the future of our company or career.
When an event like this comes up, we should remember a couple of things before anything else: 1. It’s not a dinner, it’s a meeting. 2. Whatever happens and however the evening turns out, it’s not friendship. It’s business.
The smartest businesspeople I’ve met in my life usually had one thing in common: they liked to take you out of the space you controlled to put you at ease and get you to show yourself as you are, with your flaws and virtues, but above all with your flaws. Even more so if they were going to put big responsibilities in your hands. We’re assuming that you’re the interested party and therefore the host of the business meeting.
So, as they say about exams, we’re going to aim for top marks and play it safe. These are some of the mistakes people make at a business dinner.
1. Not checking out the venue.
Choosing the wrong restaurant, or the right place at the wrong time, can make your “guest” uncomfortable. If your client is very important, don’t take them to a mediocre restaurant. And mind you, we’re in Spain, not in a Hollywood film. We’re not talking about taking them to a restaurant that costs €1,500 a seat, but to one where nobody bothers you and there are no sardines stuck to the seat of your chair.
People have made the mistake of taking a client to a restaurant that was showing a football match, with a big crowd of fans of one team shouting, and it’s hard to negotiate in that kind of atmosphere.
Likewise, as part of checking out the venue, make sure your client isn’t a vegetarian before taking them to a restaurant whose speciality is meat, and in fact where meat is all they do.
2. Assuming you don’t need to book.
Even if you think there will be few people that day, because in fact there never are many people at that restaurant, always call to book a table. Assume it will be empty, and that will be the day you end up without a table.
Calling to book a table won’t earn you points as a very organised person, but if you don’t book and your client has to wait in the lobby because there’s no table, you will come across as a terribly disorganised person.
3. Not being a good host.
As the host, you should be ready to explain to your client what the house speciality is and recommend what they might order. Let your client see that you know your way around perfectly and that you’ve prepared everything.
4. Experimenting with the food.
As we said at the start, always play it safe. Eat what you know and what you can eat. There have been cases where someone tried an unusual kind of food, it disagreed with them and caused occasional “indispositions” during the dinner. You can experiment another day.
5. Not treating everyone well.
Some people tend to think they’re important and wrongly believe that important people look down on others. Be polite and grateful to everyone at all times. I once saw a deal nearly get screwed up because one of the people present made a scene with one of the waiters over nothing, ignoring the fact that the client, before becoming that corporation’s general manager, had worked as a waiter for five years.
6. Getting into political debates.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that political ideologies ruin relationships of every kind. Sometimes the subject can’t be avoided, but that’s when you should show your public-speaking skills to get out of that conversation and change the subject gracefully. What’s more, try to bring a few conversation topics that interest your client already prepared for those “lulls” in the business conversation.
7. Drinking too much.
We don’t know how well our client holds their drink. Some people drink a bottle of wine over dinner and are as fresh as a daisy. So, just in case, don’t try to keep pace with your client, however well you hold your drink. The more sober you are, the better.
8. Getting too familiar.
Sometimes we may think we have a “buddy” in front of us, but that’s not the case. Be careful about opening up too much or talking about things you’ll regret tomorrow having said at dinner, because of what that person might think of you.
9. Not paying the bill.
The host chooses the restaurant and therefore, without exception, the host should pay the bill. And be very careful with that fake reach for your wallet while hoping your client gets there first. I’ll tell you a secret: “You can always tell who wants to pay the bill and who is just putting on a show to avoid paying. And honestly, it looks pretty ridiculous.”
Nor should you start that typical argument of “I’ll pay — no, no, I’ll pay.” Whoever really wants to pay, and doesn’t want anyone to beat them to it, always pays, and does it gracefully.
And finally, make sure you draw conclusions from the conversation and answer or ask every kind of question, although ideally everything would have been made clear during dinner and, if possible, the deal closed; the truth is that good deals are usually thought over carefully while the information sinks in.
Further reading
- Marcus Lemonis: a millionaire in business using nothing but a handshake
- 7 body language techniques for business
- How to tell if someone is lying to you
Featured image: Swaminathan, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
