We live in the age of “mega-motivation”, where almost all of us are clear that we must fight for our dreams or goals at all costs and never give up along the way. Persist when adversity comes, and push even harder when things get ugly. Don’t let failures stop you, and use every brick to build your own castle; whoever keeps at it gets there, and whoever makes the effort and doesn’t give in will sooner or later reach their goal, as long as they have given it everything.
And the most important thing is never to quit, because only cowards, the weak and failures quit. Successful people don’t.
All of this is usually represented by a well-known picture of men digging through rock, meant to show the importance of persisting and not giving up, because whoever quits loses the reward hidden behind the obstacles.
But that picture also raises an obvious question: what would happen if those men were digging in the wrong direction?
They would have all the motivation they need, but they would never get the reward. They would be what has lately come to be called a “motivated fool”.
Taking apart one of the most striking motivational lines of recent years
People have loved the line Will Smith uses in the film The Pursuit of Happyness, when he tells his son, more or less, never to let anyone tell him he can’t achieve something just because they themselves weren’t able to.
But this motivational line isn’t entirely right. If one person tells you that you won’t be able to do something, that person may be wrong; if 5 people tell you, those 5 people may be wrong because they aren’t aware of your full potential. But if 50 people tell you, it is very likely that all of them are seeing a reality that escapes you because you are blinded by hope.
If I want to jump from one building to another 10 metres away, I wouldn’t want the support of people who believe in me and tell me I can achieve anything I set my mind to if I put in the effort, because I would quite certainly fall short and end up smashed on the ground.
A couple of years ago, a mother asked me to help bring her son down to earth. He wanted to be a singer, and ever since the famous Operación Triunfo (a Spanish TV talent show), he had devoted himself exclusively to going from casting to casting for every television programme looking for new talent, even spending his meagre savings on travelling to auditions for La Voz (the local versions of The Voice) in other Latin American countries. That makes more than 7 years chasing a dream he has set out to achieve. And this young man doesn’t let anyone tell him he won’t make it, despite all the rejections.
The problem of this young man (not so young any more) is very clear to me: he won’t achieve that dream for one simple reason. He is at the low end of mediocrity and lacks any talent that sets him apart from the rest.
When diplomatic advice failed, we had to resort to speaking to him in that sincere and direct way that very few people like to hear:
“Look, there are 2 kinds of singers: 1. those you listen to and like how they sing (because they can sing, because they have talent, because they have something that sets them apart…) and 2. those you listen to and don’t like (because they can’t sing, because they sing out of tune, because they have no talent)… and you, for better or for worse, are not in the first group.”
In the case of this person (one of many I have met), it is not a question of giving up on a dream, but of being smart and abandoning a road that won’t take you anywhere.
What is the ideal way to chase a dream?
Let’s suppose that the young man mentioned above really did have the talent to compete, which still wouldn’t guarantee him a place of honour in the world of music.
In cases like this, where your success depends on the opinion of other people, we can put in our best effort for a period of 12 or even 24 months, chasing the dream full time and risking everything. That way, we know that at least it wasn’t for lack of trying. But you have to put an expiry date on chasing a dream of this kind (model, actor, singer, Hollywood star…), always with a plan B, so that if it doesn’t work out we can land somewhere soft and carry on with our lives.
When that moment comes, we don’t have to stop fighting for our almost-impossible dream either, but we should move it to a part-time basis while we devote our lives to building our future in real life (the one of now, of today, and of next week).
The risk/reward equation in chasing dreams
Whether it’s investing or starting a business, one premise of financial education is to analyse the risk/return equation, and when it comes to chasing dreams, the equation becomes risk/loss/reward.
It is dangerous to stake everything on a single card, especially when we know statistically that certain dreams have a very low probability of being achieved. That doesn’t make them impossible, but it does make them unlikely. And positive thinking says that “unlikely” means there is some chance of achieving them, but there is also a very high chance of not doing so.
Don’t let anyone stop you from fighting for those slim chances, but don’t let anyone encourage you to risk everything and waste your time and your future on a goal with very little chance of being achieved.
Even when we talk about starting a business (which depends on our own management and is under our control), the usual recommendation is to do it while we receive income from other sources. So for other kinds of dreams that will depend on the opinion of a panel of judges (with their own particular tastes), it is essential to have a financial cushion that keeps our future on track while we chase our dreams.
And remember that sometimes abandoning something isn’t giving up, but deciding that you have made enough mistakes on that road and have had more than enough.
Finally, in an age when we are also sold the idea that we must follow our passion, the truth is that our passion is not always linked to our greatest talent. You may love cooking and be a terrible cook, so you can keep cooking as a hobby; in the same way, if your passion is singing and you have no talent for it… that’s what karaoke was invented for.
Further reading
- Today it’s easier than ever to fight for your dreams
- 7 fascinating life lessons from Norman Lear
- 10 hard truths that will instantly improve your life once you accept them
Featured image: Unknown author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
.jpg){kind=link}