Some people spend years trying to change a few bad habits.
Time after time they start an exercise programme or a diet full of optimism, they try to quit smoking again and again without success, they try to get up earlier, read more, watch less TV, and so on.
In the end they feel bad about themselves for failing over and over. This isn’t a question of not having enough discipline; it’s a question of going about changing habits the wrong way.
If you’re struggling to change a bad habit, these are some of the typical mistakes most people make.
(See: 25 habits of successful people)
1. Not changing the habit’s environment.
We often rely solely on willpower to stick to a change of habit, but in practice it rarely works. It’s much better to change the environment around you.
Try to make it hard to keep up the bad habit, for example by getting rid of all the junk food in the house, putting the TV away in a cupboard, leaving your running shoes next to the bed, filling the fridge with healthy food, and so on.
Be smart and find ways to change your surroundings so the change of habit succeeds, and if that doesn’t work, change your surroundings more radically.
2. Expecting comfort.
Changing habits is uncomfortable by nature, but most people want to keep doing the same things they’ve always done and not feel uncomfortable. That’s why most people don’t exercise: they don’t like the discomfort. They’d rather sit on the sofa because it’s more comfortable. If you allow yourself to be open to discomfort, at least a little, for a while, you’ll be less likely to give up.
See also: Life is like a game, and this is how you play it
Don’t like running? Run just a little. What you learn is that there’s nothing wrong with being uncomfortable, and that becomes a superpower for changing any habit.
(See: 5 reasons to get up earlier and how to make it a habit)
3. Not starting small.
Most people are optimistic and try to make too big a change. There are many reasons why it’s better to start with a small change of habit.
If we start with a small change, the discomfort it causes isn’t overwhelming. Starting small helps you avoid burning through all your enthusiasm, and that helps you keep up your willpower. Some examples: start running 10 minutes a day, eat one vegetable a day, smoke one cigarette fewer a day, or read for 10 minutes a day.
4. Having unrealistic fantasies about the habit.
When we start changing a habit, it’s usually because we have some kind of picture in our heads of how good our life will be once we make the change: we’ll be really healthy and sexy, our life will be wonderful and we’ll be delighted.
Unfortunately, changes in real life are almost never the way we imagined them, so we end up disappointed and discouraged. A better approach is to realise that these fantasies or ideals aren’t true, to hold on to them loosely, and instead to take a curious approach: what does the change feel like? How can I be happy at every step of the way, instead of only when I reach the goal?
5. Starting straight away.
Some people decide overnight that they’re going to quit smoking and throw their cigarette on the ground there and then. Starting straight away is a bad idea, because it means you’re taking the change lightly. That’s why some people try to quit smoking more than 20 times a year.
So one of the best approaches is to set a start date for changing the habit: at least a couple of days after you first think about changing it, or even a week or two. That way you’ll be mentally prepared to change the habit and it will be harder to get discouraged. At the very least, you’ll take it more seriously.
(See: The only 3 habits of Warren Buffett that probably sum up his success)
6. Not being accountable to anyone.
One of the best ways to change the habit’s environment is to build in accountability. Set yourself a challenge and tell people about it. Tell your family and your best friends about the habit you’re changing. Ask them not to let you slip back into the bad habit. Accountability will help you stay on course when everything else fails.
If you can correct these mistakes, you’ll improve your chances of success in life, because very often it’s bad habits, or the lack of good ones, that keep us from reaching our goals.
See also: 20 daily habits that will improve your life in general and your business in particular
Featured image: Matt Trostle, CC BY 2.0, via Flickr.
