Editor’s note: This article was first published in March 2016, when Ivanka Trump was described as a multimillionaire businesswoman with two children and before her later political role; she had a third child later that month.
If anyone has had a good teacher in the art of negotiation, it is surely multimillionaire Ivanka Trump, daughter of Donald Trump, who, although lately it may seem he has lost his mind, did in his day achieve success in business thanks, among other things, to his negotiating skills.
Ivanka has explained to Time magazine what she considers the main rules of negotiation, for winning both in business and when asking your company for a pay rise. She also jokes that there is no tougher negotiator than a child, and she has two.
Meticulous preparation, an even temperament and a genuine love of the “game” are the factors Ivanka credits for both her own success and her father’s.
(Recommended: 4 truths about the art of negotiation)
1. Set your goals in advance
This is surely the most overlooked golden rule of all, because, unbelievable as it may seem, many people sit down to negotiate without knowing what they want. So we need to know exactly what we want to achieve before we sit down at the negotiating table. If we don’t have a plan, we’re handing the other side an advantage in achieving their goals. Not ours.
2. Think long term
As J. Paul Getty put it, you shouldn’t take all the money there is in a deal, because if you get a reputation for always taking all the money, there won’t be any more deals. There’s nothing worse than being in a business relationship with someone who feels you’ve extorted or fleeced them. The best negotiators often try to make sure both sides come away satisfied, even when you were the clear winner at the negotiating table.
3. Try to understand the other person’s goals
What does the other person want to achieve? Sometimes your interests aren’t the same, but their priorities could be very similar to yours. Although money ends up being the bottom line of a negotiation, it’s often something more emotional and complex than that. Knowing what really drives the other person and what they want to get out of the deal will give you better cards to play.
4. Information and preparation
A negotiation is won by the person who has gathered the best information and prepared the best. The more information you have, the stronger your position. It’s hard to beat someone who can back up their claims with facts and a smart argument.
5. Always negotiate in person
Whether we’re talking about trying to sell or negotiating a deal, a terrible negotiator will do much better in person than an excellent negotiator will by email. According to Ivanka Trump, negotiating by email seems to suit the weaker party, because it spares them direct confrontation and gives them more time to craft a good reply. She prefers face to face and, if possible, in her own office, where she says she feels more comfortable negotiating successfully.
6. Listen more than you talk
As we’ve said more than once in our articles on sales, the idea that good salespeople have the gift of the gab remains to be proven. The best negotiators simply sit and listen to as much as they can from the other side, because it is giving them a lot of information that they’ll later use to win the negotiation. Insecure, nervous people often try to fill the void of silence with words. But you’re not on a blind date; you’re in a negotiation. The less you get involved, the more likely the other person is to give you information they wouldn’t have given you otherwise. Remember that both sales and negotiations are won by listening, not talking.
See also: The day I stopped being a terrible salesman
7. Pay attention to body language
It’s said that only 7% of communication is verbal. The rest of the message is conveyed through non-verbal signals, including facial expressions, gestures, posture, sighs, silences…
That’s why it’s essential to stay calm. Don’t bite your nails, don’t play with your hair, watch your posture when you sit down, be careful with your facial expressions and keep reasonable eye contact.
Now, also watch the other side’s body language: you’ll notice them close up to a proposal just from the change in their posture and facial expressions.
(See: How to influence people using these psychological tricks)
8. Practise the art of negotiation when little is at stake
However much you read, the truth is that the art of negotiation, like any other skill, is perfected through practice. Make the most of situations where little is at stake to polish certain techniques as well as your own style. Practise by trying to get a discount in a shop, or better terms from your insurance or phone company.
(See: 9 tips for lowering the price of anything you’re about to buy)
And if you want to lose your fear of hearing no, you can always try this guy’s method, which may seem as absurd as it is effective.
See also: 16 of the best quotes on negotiation and sales
Featured image: Marc Nozell from Merrimack, New Hampshire, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
